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anyway, I'm in slow mode this morning, drinking tea, need a shower, running late. It's going to be a long ass day I can tell. I'll be training the Company owner's 19 year old nephew for the next couple weeks, he's been forced by his mother to work in IT the whole summer with us, perhaps to learn a bit about the business, he talks an awful lot tho .. but maybe that's not such a bad thing, makes the time pass a bit more quickly.

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Laters :)

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Ever drink so much Tea or Coffee you start to think about things way too much? Working that shift required me to have a bit more than normal and voila, at 3AM last night I emptied some of my most private thoughts into the blog. I'm reading it now and thinking, what the hell? I thought I only opened up to that degree when drinking. Evidently not. So just pass by it and continue on. I was glad to see my ex-wife also read it (and commented, although not addressing the subject .. she still made her presence known), the fact that she reads here now is beginning to inspire rather than upset me. Who thought something positive could come of that? Love ya *wink*.

(originally published Thursday October 20, 2005 5:20 PM)

Inspired by the very cool ScandinavianNova and partly because I am sitting here at work (2nd shift again tonight...ehk) here is a list of 52 totally unnecessary things to know about me....


1. I am a Gemini

2. I was adopted at birth (my birthfather is Persian)

3. I met found my birthparents at age 19.

4. My high school class included 106 kids, of which only 97 graduated.

5. My favorite colors are green and orange

6. My favorite number is 4

7. I have two cats, sisters someone gave me when they were 3 weeks old (they are now 4 1/2)

8. I was once married to a woman.

9. I have 2 children.

10. I have lived in Hampden County, Massachusetts since birth.

11. I have a great fear of Sharks, and have nightmares about them year round.

12. I once had a 10 minute conversation with Tori Amos about her Native American ancestry.

13. Gavin Rossdale once walked in front of my Hampton Beach, NH hotel window

14. I actually think Courtney Love has talent, apart from her other deficiencies.

15. While I do vote, I never voted for Bill Clinton.

16. The two most beautiful cities I have ever visited were Copenhagen, Denmark and Toronto, Ontario

17. I am an only grandchild on my dad's side.

18. My father passed away when I was 15 as the result of a cocaine overdose.

19. My father was an interior designer and left my mother when I was 4 for a man.

20. I have a step-sister.

21. I operate 3 Websites dedicated to genealogy.

22. The only vegetable I will not eat is Asparagus.

23. I really dislike Lobster, Scallops and crab.

24. I love all white fish..and can only handle Salmon occasionally.

25. my alltime favorite musical lyric is "you never know just how you look through other people's eyes" From Pepper by the Butthole Surfers

26. I have always had a strange fascination with Tracey Ullman.

27. I have always had a strange fascination with John Waters films.

28. I love Parker Posey, and have tried to see everything she's done.

29. I cant stand Jim Carey or Robin Williams.

30. I drive a 2005 Silver Nissan Altima.

31. I grew up with Horses, we always had at least 2.

32. My first horse was a Palomino named Tequila Sunrise, I was 8.

33. My first plane ride was at the age of 10 we flew from Hyannis to Nantucket.
My parents did this intentionally to prepare my step-sister and I for an upcoming trip to California.

34. I hate cheesy talk shows.

35. I think Johnny Depp is far more attractive than either Bradd Pitt or Tom Cruise.

36. I am listening to Something Vague (Bright Eyes) right at this moment.

37. I work in IT.

38. I was a History major on college.

39. My shoe size is 12.

40. I weigh 155 pounds and am 6' tall.

41. I can drive to Hartford CT in 20 minutes, and Albany, New York in 1 hour yet it takes 1 1/2 hours to get to Boston, my own state capital.

42. I've never been to New Orleans...though have always wanted to.

43. My Yahoo ID is MrZebra4444 after the Tori Amos song "Mr Zebra"

44. My eyes are very dark brown, so much so people comment on them regularly.

45. My favorite Manson song is Tourniquet.

46. I don't have any tattoos.

47. I have not had a drink since July 18th. *yikes*

48. I have been single since January 2003.

49. I have had two live-in relationships since my divorce, both lasting 3 years.

50. I love hot food, to the point where I break into a sweat.

51. I had braces from the ages 10-17.

52. I have a unibrow that I refuse to separate.

There..whew. That wasn't as easy as I thought it would be.
Eh...something different anyway. Would love to see others give that a go.

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CRANK CALL FRIDAY

I need to get back to doing this, lately I've been laxed. Today's selection is dedicated to Cesco, and it's one of his favorites (mine too). It is from Comedy Central's Crank Yankers, and features poor elderly Helen Higgins, who's insensitive son has trained her pet Parrot to shout out obscenities and call her very offensive names. Enjoy!

The Parrot

(click to play, right-click to save)

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Laters :)

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SO yea, thanks to my friend Kalvin I downloaded and tried out Skype for the very first time. I mean I'd heard of it before (obviously.. I listen to waay too many podcasts) but I guess never really thought about trying it out for myself. Had a decent chat today even. Now for the next step, a Persian Podcast .. how much fun does THAT sound? Ok well don't get too exited, nothing is definite yet.

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So that is today's casualty of my working 2nd shift, I had way too much time on my hands and a new toy to play with so I completely forgot to post. There is a first. Something more substantial tomorrow.

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Work last night was quickly over and today is my last night on this nightmare shift. I actually got to chat later when I got home to a really cool fellow blogger from an unamed Southern State of Grey Haired fame (hint hint), who I have been reading and exchanging comments with for a while now. We have some important things in common and someday it would be cool to meet. You know who you are there buddy :) It's 2:12 now and I have to leave in 20 minutes, haven't showered or made my less than exiting lunch (looks like another salad event).

I swore it said "Red Wine Vinaigrette" ... who thinks of these flavors?? ehk

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Laters :)

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Introducing Great-Grandmother Maria Giuseppa Marciano, born April 17, 1889 Carini, Provincia di Palermo, Sicily daughter of Antonino & Francesca Angela (Marciano) Marciano. Yup, both her parents were Marciano's, 2nd cousins in fact, and to make it worse, Giuseppa married her OWN first cousin (her father & his mother were full siblings), my Great-Grandfather Antonino. It's no wonder their children were born without deformities!

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It is the 1651 Church marriage record for Carlo Marciano to a Greek bride named Mattea Norcia "from Plane Grecorum or The Plane of the Greeks". I used this document to study further into this woman and discovered her parents arrived from Albania approximately 30 years earlier where they belonged to a large Greek Colony. Fascinating stuff when you see it all right before you. As another interesting point, and because of the intermarriages within my family, I descend from Mattea Norcia a total of 9 times in 4<> different lines.

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(Christian Bale, The Machinist, he just couldn't sleep)

The effects of no sleep & multiple meals

Ok so I discovered something this week. If you get little sleep, and eat every couple hours, your body/metabolism kicks into overdrive and you lose weight. The thing is I don't need to lose weight, but it still happened. I mean I was chowing all day and night long, an insatiable hunger came over me for some reason. I even had like 2 candy bars! Yet when I woke up this morning I felt emaciated and starving, and when I stepped on the scale I realized I am down to 147 at 6', thats like 5 pounds in the last 3 days. Yikes...! I guess they weren't kidding when they said keeping the metabolism active with small meals throughout the day works, should you desire to lose. I mean I haven't Walked or crunched now since Saturday (not feeling motivated with these weird hours) so my physical activity has been very much reduced. Baffling..

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Thanks everyone for their suggestions on where to get an in-house Washer/Dryer, I will have one soon no matter what the cost. That Laundromat shit is a nightmare, I don't know how people deal with it on a regular basis (can you tell it's the first time ever I have had too?) Think about that before you move into a condo or apartment which requires you to wash your clothes in such a place. Yea I mean taking things to family/friends sounds easy enough, but in the end it's a royal pain in the ass, try it and you will see what I mean.

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So anyway two more days of this shift. Then its a 4 day weekend... :)

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Laters :)

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Grand Duchess Anastasia Romanoff

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Yes Anastasia

(click above to play, right click to save)

lyrics

I know what you want the magpies have come
if you know me so well then tell me which hand i use

make them go
make it go

saw her there in a restaurant
poppy don't go
i know your mother is a good one
but poppy don't go
i'll take you home
show me the things i've been missin
show me the ways i forgot to be speaking
show me the ways to get back to the garden
show me the ways to get around the get around
show me the ways to button up buttons
that have forgotten they're buttons
well we can't have that
forgetting that

girls girls what have we done to ourselves
driving on the vine
over clothes lines
but officer i saw the sign
thought i'd been through this in 1919
counting the tears of ten thousand men
and gathered them all
but my feet are slipping
there's something we left on the windowsill
there's something we left yes

we'll see how brave you are
we'll see how fast you'll be running
we'll see how brave you are
yes, Anastasia
and all your dollies have friends

thought she deserved no less than she'd give
well happy birthday
her blood's on my hands
it's kind of a shame cause i did like that dress
it's funny the things that you find in the rain
the things that you find
in the mall and in the date mines
in the knots still in her hair
on the bus i'm on my way down
all the girls seem to be there

come along now little darlin'
come along now with me
come along now little darlin'
we'll see how brave you are

(Much thanks to Audrey over at Hereinmyhead.com for the interview and lyrics)

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Laters :)

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Today would mark the 63rd birthday of my father if he had survived. I never got up early enough (I'm on 2nd shift this week) to get over to the cemetery, as I usually do, maybe tomorrow. He was my adopted father, which I mention only to differentiate him from my bio-father who I have posted about recently. I was adopted at birth (well placed at 2 months actually) and for the first 20 years of my life he was the only father I knew.

This is the last photo I have of my father, taken about a year before he passed away. Notice the family Crest I made him hold (even then I was into family history and genealogy). I had received that Polaroid camera for Christmas the previous year, and went around photographing anyone would would let me. He was just 39 in that photo, yet looked easily in his 50's, alcohol and drug abuse, incessant bouts with dieting and weight gain. I have taken great examples from his failures, most importantly hardly letting a weekend pass without seeing my children, having never touched a drug (apart from smoking, which I have tried maybe 4 times) and maintaining a healthy diet and weight consistently for the past 10 years. He taught me so many things even in death. I love you dad, wherever you are.

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Well I am working 2nd shift tonight thru Thursday covering a vacation. Of all the shifts this is my least favorite. I worked these hours during my entire marriage and hated every minute of it. You get home at 11:30 , stay up till maybe 1AM then sleep till 11, eat something, and go back in for 2. You have no life whatsoever. Oh well, I do get an hourly differential so that's something in any case.

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I went out last night, for the 1st time in maybe 6 months (and it had been a year before that). I actually had 2 beers but am not upset about that, at least it wasn't vodka and I nursed them for most of the night hardly catching a buz. I had a blast, hung out with some friends, met a couple new ones caught up on stuff and laughed tons. I forgot how much fun a night out can be.

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Laters :)

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and then my favorite addition..

these things are spicy & delicious, I break pieces off and eat with.

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My mother always throws in my face that I take the time and effort to eat healthy meals and exercise, yet I continue to smoke cigarettes.. I guess she has a point. I wonder why that I can be so disciplined in those areas yet fail miserably when I try to quit smoking??

(My birthfather, his grandfather, and sister April 20,1956)

(Veronica Odorisio Ginosa, daughter Assunta & son Alessandro, 1885)

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My birthfather came into my life soon after I found my biological mother. The story is outlined on my sidebar under "My Adoption". I was very fortunate that his mother cared little for older photographs and by the time she passed away in 2000 she had given me nearly every picture and document she had dating older than 20 years. I especially like this one of her son, my birthfather taken just a couple years before I was conceived.

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He married after separating from my birthmother, and had three children with his new wife. I was very fortunate to have known them for a period of time while we were close in the early 1990's. The four subsequently moved south later on and although I saw them once at our grandmother's funeral in November of 2000 we no longer remain in contact, I don't even have their address and phone number any longer. Here is a photo from one of the holidays we spent together.

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From left, me, my girlfriend (and subsequent wife), my half-sister,, sister-in-law, older half brother and in front younger half-brother. I have many pictures of them, but this is my most favorite of all.

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I have only discovered this past Sunday that my birthmother is moving from her Apartment in Springfield to (unbelievably) the Apartments directly across the street from my Condo building. I can see her parking lot from my front door. This should be interesting in terms of our future relationship, which has dwindled to nothing in the past 10 years. I am not so sure what to make of it yet, time will tell.

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I've completed day two of smokelessness! This will be the last mention in any post, I will continue to denote the number below in the code thingy at the end. It's been a stressful nightmare so far, but I am keeping busy and have stopped drinking tea or coffee and immediately involve myself in a chore or project when I get home. I've also been trying to stay away from the PC as that was the time I MOST enjoyed smoking. Ok enough of that I am starting to crave one right now...

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Answers to yesterday's Four truths and a lie...

1. I am a registered Republican -- TRUE (don't get the wrong idea)

I registered to vote for the first time in 1992 and at that time my candidate of choice was good old Daddy George Bush. Do I need to go on? In any case I haven't voted Republican since that election and now that I am in a new town and need to re-register this will finally be "fixed".

2. I was once nearly kidnapped by Libyan terrorists -- TRUE (although Terrorists may not be exactly the correct word in this case)

When I was turned 20, my Gram paid for a months trip to Europe for my then girlfriend and I. My girlfriend had to back out after pressure from her parents and I went alone. I flew in and out of Zurich, Switzerland and kept much of my luggage stored there in the hotel which I would spend my first two and last two nights in.

On one trip west to Geneva, where I was to catch this super fast train to Paris (called the TGV) I met this Libyan student who convinced me that I must not miss sightseeing in Geneva (which I had originally chose to skip visiting for any length of time). I explained I had no hotel reservations (it was later in the evening) and he said he had some sort of connection at a hotel called The Geneve Cornavin. Being young and naive and alone (not to mention thrilled to find an English speaking person) I agreed. We took a taxi to the hotel after arriving and he took care of everything, even paid for my room. Now why in the hell wasn't I suspicious already?? He stayed there as well (in another room naturally) DESPITE having an apartment close by. He also rang up my room three times during the night to "make sure I was ok".

The next day he took me briefly around the city, and then to "visit his father" who was staying at The Hotel Intercontinental not far from The United Nations Building. His father was a high ranking official in the Libyan government (or so he claimed), and I was brought upstairs to meet him. He seemed very irritated and angry, but then again I had no idea what they were saying to each other. We left the hotel and proceeded to visit a friend of Louai's named Mohammad Khashoggi (who I later discovered was the son of this super-rich arms merchant who has currently has been tied to two of the 911 pilots not to mention Osama Bin Laden himself!). I remember the building he lived in was guarded by these frightening looking security men and we had to go through three doors before we reached his apartment. Once again I have no idea what they were talking about, but the kid (he was my age) seemed very friendly and hospitable.

After that we returned to The Hotel Intercontinental once again, and by this time I was starting to get nervous, we hadn't seen a single site and it was already lunch time. He brought me outside to this patio where they served lunch and ordered something for me to eat, disappearing to go back upstairs and speak to his father. I barely ate. He came back down and sat with me for about a half hour and then disappeared again, asking me to wait for him in the lobby this time. All I remember was that there were all of these Arab diplomats coming in and out of the lobby and my blood pressure was starting to rise. He came back down and said he needed to wait a bit longer for his father, never explaining exactly what this was all about. I had already made up my mind to get the hell out of there at his next exit.

When he left me yet again, I quietly grabbed my Gap travel bag, walked out the front door and boarded a bus (which was covered with my Eurail Pass) and headed to the train station. I couldn't get to Paris fast enough. Obviously I never contacted or heard from him again. I truly believe that I avoided something, this guy was getting kind of creepy toward the end and well, the Khashoggi connection has recently cemented my fears. I don't know if many of you remember but back in the late 80's early 90's Libya was very much our enemy and it's leader Muammar Khadafi a complete lunatic. Here I was hanging out with the son of one of his ministers!!! I was such an idiot.

3. I have had sex (any definition) once in the past two years. TRUE

I guess since my breakup in '03 I have pretty much avoided Bars and well the online thing is not so appealing either. I just haven't been interested in even dating until maybe the last 6 months, and the two people I did try to date grew boring quickly and I stopped answering their calls. Thank god there are other ways to relieve frustration not involving another warm body. :)

4. I once worked as a volunteer for a Mormon Church. TRUE

Shortly before finding my birthparents I began visiting our local LDS Family History Center in Bloomfield, CT. As some of you know the amazing genealogical resources of the Mormon Church are by far the largest in the world. I was in my late teens, had a car and impressed the Library's director so much she asked me to become a volunteer. I worked every other Saturday from 9-3 helping patrons utilize the library's microfilm catalog and ordering from Salt Lake. In time my duties included teaching classes on Italian and French-Canadian genealogy as well. I was there right up until my divorce, when I could no longer work weekends due to the fact that I now had my sons on the weekends (visitation). Once in a while I still go down there and they always ask when I will start volunteering again. Maybe some day.

5. I saw Nirvana at Springfield, MA in November of 1993. FALSE

While Nirvana did play The Springfield Civic Center in November of 1993, sadly I was not in attendance. I guess that is pretty much all I can say on this one. I wasn't there.

So... Scott, Daniel & Rob you were right! Good job!

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Laters :)

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yeap I made it through day one, I feel pretty good about it considering how slow yesterday was at work. We received 3 calls the whole day. It was rainy, and cold and boring and my boss and I hardly spoke (as a result of the other day, go figure). Thanks for all of your encouragement!

Tori Tuesday....

Persian Toricast #1

(click on the image or link above, or right click to save)

In honor of this theme day I made the first Persian Toricast. It has very little spoken word and lots of Tori (nearly 40 minutes) blended into what I think is a beautiful medley of some of my favorites. If you walk, run, or drive to Podcasts and have not been exposed to her lyrical genius and breathtaking voice, have a listen, you will not regret it. I plan on making a few of these as time permits, but of course not every week. Enjoy!

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Laters :)

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made sure you were always well fed...

insisted you drank plenty of Milk..

and had fun pets to play with...

didn't let you get into anything dangerous..

brought you fun places like the beach...

gave you neat props to play pretend with...

never forgot to change your diaper...

always had a nack for dressing you up in NEAT outifits..

and if you were lucky enough,

they started all over again with your kids..

because after all they were kids once too...

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I am also reminded of my grandfather (Nono), who was an old Sicilian and kept the memory of his mother alive right up until his death. As a matter of fact the last time I saw him, semi-comatose in a hospital bed, cancer ridden and struggling for his last breath, he was talking to her. Unbelievably he was telling her "No Ma, I'm not ready yet". Tears swelled up in my eyes as I stood there watching from across the room in complete disbelief. I suppose it was his mother there, at his most important time of need, helping him through that last journey. Some may say it is ridiculous to believe such things, but then again they were not there. He was talking to her and not 2 hours later was gone. In honor of my old Nonna (his mother) and also my grandfather, I am uploading the song that reminded him most of her, and one which could always make the tough old guy cry like a baby.. It's by Connie Francis and is called...

MAMA

(click above to play, it's sad yet beautiful)

lyrics (the English part)

When the evening shadows fall
and the lovely day is through
Then with longing I recall
the years I spent with you

Mama, I miss the days
when you were near to guide me
Mama, those happy days
when you were here beside me

Safe in the glow of your love
Sent from the heavens above
Nothing can ever replace
The warmth of your tender embrace

Oh, Mama, until the day
that we're together once more
I'll live in these memories
Until the day that we're together once more

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I hope you all have a great Mother's Day whether it is spending the day with her, or fondly remembering special memories spent with her no matter where she is now.

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Laters :)

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(Anderson, Gloria & Carter about 1983)

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It is a descendency chart from "Commodore" Cornelius Vanderbilt to both my grandmother (Claire Arnett) and Anderson. As you can see by the caption on the bottom they are exact 4th cousins, despite the age difference. That is due to Gloria's age (43) when Anderson was born and as well her father Reggie's age (44) when she came into the world. You can read more about Gram's 3rd Great Grandfather The Commodore by clicking on his name above. He was a fascinating man for sure, and whose likeness stands in front of Grand Central Station in NYC.

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Laters :)

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