Saturday, December 30, 2006
allo allo...
been about two weeks since I took a small break from this place. It was a much needed break (a couple of unexpected events I won't go into sort of forced me to go into blog hibernation) I had a few things to sort out and now am ready to start blogging again. Had an amazing Christmas as did the kids, I think they got nearly everything they were hoping for. Christmas is so much more intense through the eyes of a child, something we perhaps forget as we get older.
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Missed all of you guys heaps, I surely have much to catch up on.
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A couple things that have happened since the December 14th pause..
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1) It's been nearly a month since I've had a drink, even given two Christmas Parties, and three bottles of booze I won at said parties sitting in my pantry.
2) I have a date for New Years Eve. We're going to Boston. Should be fun.
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Well that's it for today .. I'm at work till 11, something about making up for the holiday. Ugh...
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Picking up the kids at 11:30 and then off to a fun day of shopping (they have to use all of their gift cards up after all) Between the cards and good old fashioned cash, each of them has about $250 to spend. Let's not even get into the gifts they received.
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more tomorrow ...
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Thursday, December 14, 2006
things are going well ...

So some people might be like "what's the big deal?" but anyway ....
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This is the 5th day that I have not had a drink
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Since roughly March 2003 I have (with the exception of 5 months back when I started this blog as dryfreelean.blogspot.com) been drinking pretty much every night. Oh and by the way don't go there, spammers picked up that URL after I deleted my original blog and it will take you to one add site after another without you having to even touch your keyboard.
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But I digress, anyway .. coming home, having a friend or two over (although not always) and pouring a great big Screwdriver became a way of life for me. It was something I looked forward to. I would have three before the night was over. It "took the edge" off the day. Yea right ...
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I will mention that this is the longest I've gone since the 5 months mentioned above. It's a good sign, for two reasons. The first being, well it's been the longest as I said and the second reason is that I have a new perspective on kicking this messy habit. In the past, to stop drinking, I would replace the alcohol with something else. The most effective substitution has always been working out. Running, crunching, lifting, eating incredibly healthy foods (I naturally refrain from fast food and high sodium content meals so I suppose that isn't such a big deal). What I have learned recently from talking online to others is that you must first abstain and live your life normally as you had before, just sans the hooch.
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Why is that you ask?
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Because ... if you do replace "drinking time" with some other activity and for some reason (an injury for example) you cannot continue on with the replacement activity, you almost certainly will view it subconsciously as a failure and start drinking again. It's just that simple. This is advice coming from people who have been sober for (in some cases) 20 years or more. People who tried to kick this nasty addiction repeatedly over the years before they got in touch with what it takes to stay clean.
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I realize that everyone is an individual. The same method is certainly not going to work for the masses. However this time, I'm really feeling something substantially different. I have not changed a thing in my daily routine and it feels amazing. Sort of like I am back in the days when I didn't drink at all (pre-27 my marriage years). I look better, feel better and yea I know it's been less than a week but something is just different this time.
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moving right along ..
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This will be the last night of 2nd shift. This morning I ran over to the main office, put $20. on my laundry card and started bagging up (yea ok I'm an uber slob) my laundry. It's um *cough* been a while. Thank god I have enough clothes for 6 people or else I'd be in real trouble. I still have tons more (although most of what is clean is not on my ropas favoritas list) but am sick of having to spend 20 minutes figuring out what to wear each day because I don't like what's still clean. I did find a yellow shirt and a pair of gray boxer briefs that were hidden in a drawer however and it is with them that I present:

Laundry HNT
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Happy HNT!!
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Wednesday, December 13, 2006
ugh..
I'm still having heaps of issues with posting comments on so many of my friend's (that means YOU!) blogs. When is this going to end?? I even switched over my video blog profile to Beta this morning and tried using THAT to post comments. Still the same issues. So if any of you Beta people out there are wondering why you are perhaps not receiving any comments, it's because none of us can, unless you go anonymous, which I have resorted to at least three times.
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Lemuel , Gayborhood Gringo & Donnie I can't post comments on your blogs. Grrrrr....
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anyway....
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Working second shift for two more nights ..
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My boss was rushed to the emergency today so I had to come in two hours early
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so given it is way back Wednesday ...
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here's where I was one year ago today ...



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sitting outside The Brazen Head Pub in Dublin.
It's the oldest continuously operating Pub in the whole of Ireland.
It has been in operation since 1198. Check out the official Flash site.
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guess that's it for now, I so shouldn't be blogging given I'm at work.
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one last thing .. this song I can't get out of my head. It's from a band I am not all that into called The Starting Line. I saw them as openers for All American Rejects a few months back and the crowd was super nasty when they came on. There were people yelling at the top of their lungs insults such as "you suck" and "get off the stage" yet this kid (the lead singer) never played on like he could hear them. He just kept playing and talking to us all in the most positive tone. Honestly I didn't care much for the performance until this song. It is all about ignoring the haters and the critics and just playing on ...

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It was the best performance of the entire show (all 5 bands included)
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Lyrically it is amazing, if you can read between the lines and hear his message...
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Ready

(The Starting Line)
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I've been waiting for good news
Words to continue singing these ones
To the same demographic
Be it not perfect
Let it be heard by those taking an interest
Not for the critics holding their ears

Gonna get ready
Gonna get ready

I've been waiting for answers
Dancing in circles, making me sick
I've been chained like a tiger
To hundreds of liars all holding hands

Gonna get ready
Gonna get ready

Now I'm calling all the time
All I wanted was a little bit
Of time for me to try, try to get up
I'm gonna get up
All they wanted was a little bit of time for me
To clear my head, to clear my head

Gotta clear it up
I'm calling all the time
All I wanted was a little bit
Of time for me to try, try to get up
I'm gonna get up
All they wanted was a little bit of time for me
To clear my head, to clear my head
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that's it for now ..
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Tuesday, December 12, 2006
ok ..
so I'm still here ...
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*yawn*
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worked late last night
fell asleep at like 2:30 reading Desperation by Stephen King
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What the HELL is up with Beta Blogger today, I have tried to post comments on three different blogs and was recycled back to the word verification screen. I am not (yet) on Beta, they are basically going to have to drag me kicking and screaming, I've heard the stories. I swear Blogger is playing this sick game with me, where I type in my login name/password and as well the word verification again, and again, and again. I mean I was thinking I got the word thing wrong ....
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grrr....
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"Weekly White Boy Dance"
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Stephen makes one of these weekly and posts to his blog.
He's linked on my sidebar ... inside stephen
there is a lot more to him than what meets the eye
check out his blog ...
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and finally
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The winner of yesterday's
Pick your favorite Persian
is #3 by a landslide
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Monday, December 11, 2006

I am seriously considering taking a break from this place for a while.
Or possibly posting just a couple times a week when the mood hits ...
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Do any of you find that an unhealthy portion of your free time is spent blogging?
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I've posted nearly every day since July of 2005 and there are often mornings (of late) that I sit in front of the PC drawing a blank, as if I have nothing interesting to write. Then it occurred to me that perhaps the well has run dry, and I need to start paying more attention to the "real" world and less to this virtual semblance of one.
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I began blogging over a year ago as an anonymous vehicle with which to record my brief daily routine/activities/events & sort of "organize my thoughts" (see my earliest surviving posts to understand what I am talking about) How it has evolved into this place is very much a mystery. Don't get me wrong, it's been a wonderful experience, and I have met some of the most amazing people with whom I would never have had the opportunity to interact otherwise.
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maybe it's just the funk I am in ..
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I've been going through a rough spot lately, drinking perhaps more than I should (what else is new) getting little accomplished apart from blogging (if that can be considered an accomplishment) and in the interim feeling this overwhelming sense of loneliness and depression. It has been said that this is the time of year many people sort of drift off into sadness and reflection, yet I have to ask myself why is it I am struggling? I have two wonderful children, a decent home, apart from some very minor bills my finances are in order ... but still..
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In any case (as if I need to spend more time in front of this PC!) I joined this amazing forum online where thousands from across the globe battling anxiety, depression, alcohol and substance abuse come to share their experiences, ask questions and open up their lives so that perhaps they (and others) will benefit. It's a wonderful site and I am certainly glad I found it.
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I could really use a hug right now ... *sigh*
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maybe I should switch gears then and change the subject ..
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I've just started (yesterday) reading Desperation by Stephen King. There are only a handful of non-fiction authors I typically follow, and thus far he's hooked me with this title. I can't put it down honestly. Pick up a copy if you haven't already. It isn't new (1997) I purchased it at the airport in London last year while waiting for my flight to board and ended up forgetting by liftoff. Actually I can rarely get into a book in-flight, I'm usually a nervous wreck. :)
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One last thing .. and it is fairly rare that I am so completely thrown into contemplative confusion over a post, but if you have a moment, please take a look at this incredibly well written, thought provoking essay which was featured on Best Gay Blogs, the work of Backward Spiral and entitled :
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"So you want a white wedding do you?"
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The post brings out some very compelling points to light from the standpoint of a Gay man opposed to Gay Marriage. I was riveted. I suspect you will be as well, no matter your opinion. I also see he has no comments which saddens me given the strengths of his position and the ease with witch he presents his argument.
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and now... yet again it's time for Monday's
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Pick your favorite Persian
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2


3


4


5

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and this poor little guy needs a shave!
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Have a great Monday :)
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Sunday, December 10, 2006
last night ..
my friend came over we had a couple drinks .. blogged a bit (not always the best idea of course), ate some leftover pizza, and then started watching this ..




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Essentially it is about a young man coming to terms with his infatuation over a celbrated pianist more than twice his age. It was an interesting film, which is an adaptation of David Leavitt's acclaimed novel "The Page Turner". I have not read this book, but from what I understand the film falls short in many areas to portray accurately the characters involved. I got bored with it actually 3/4 through and went to bed. Perhaps I'll finish watching it some evening when I have nothing better to do.
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While searching google this morning to find a photo I discovered
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The young man (Kevin Bishop) in Food of Love is actually the kid from this movie ...
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This happens to be (even to this day) one of our (my kids and I) favorite Muppet classics. Not only does it star Tim Curry (of Rocky Horror fame) BUT (and this is one of the reasons I love it so) also Jennifer Saunders (ABFAB) as an ornary old Saloon Hag. Even after all these years, the three of us laugh ourselves silly watching it. Especially the scene where these muppet pirates invade Saunders establishment and wake her up in the middle of the night. She doesn't take this lightly and takes on half a dozen of them at a time. There are no shots to be found online of her brief performance, so I popped the DVD in and took a couple myself ...



and my favorite part ...
"You c'mere you!!"
and slaps the daylights out of a rogue muppet


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Have a great Sunday everyone!
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S1 156
Saturday, December 09, 2006
In God we trust....

Spent the day loafing with the kids, ordering a Pizza and then a quick trip to Best Buy to pick up a replacement copy of Donnie Darko I lost somewhere in the move here. My older son asked me about the film this morning, and since it is one of my favorites, I figured why not go and buy it again. We had little to do today given that Van Wilder 2 switched to night showings only. Ugh.. I hate when that happens.
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My son's latest issue is with Religion..
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It's always refreshing to hear a young mind examine something it does not understand.
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Basically he is struggling with the pressure society puts upon us to believe in God, and I am having great difficulty (since these things always seem to fall to me to sort out for him, his mother is not exactly what one would call articulate) trying to explain the whole concept of faith. In my opinion it isn't necessarily what you believe in, but rather that you conceptually believe there is a higher power beyond the tangible/physical world we live in. I went through a brief history of the formation of organized religion and how since time immortal people have gained strength from their faith, often utilizing it's "power" to endure incredible hardships and as well overcome grief and addiction.
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He's a brilliant kid, at the top of his class,
you have to explain things to him in detail. He insists upon it.
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I'm still struggling to get my point across (to him)
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I realize that, as parents, my ex-wife and I have probably fallen short in the "spiritual example" arena (probably as the result of our own equally hazy if not non-existent "spiritual" parental role model) I mean yea, I was baptized, made my first communion AND even confirmed, but still, neither Mom nor Dad (from my memory) ever stepped into a church unless it was for a Christening, Marriage or Funeral. I'm still not sure why I was forced to endure the Nun's ruler (I went to Catholic School) CCD classes or the whole Confirmation Prep. thing....
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My ex-wife was baptized. We married in her church (Methodist) and that was that (for her).
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The Priest who baptized my older son made a point to inform me (in front of everyone present) that he (my son) was illegitimate in the "eyes of the lord" because I was not married in a Catholic Church. Whatever to him. I won't even type what I'm thinking right now (he was one of many local priests recently accused of molesting young boys under his "supervision" ).
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ugh it's no wonder I am having difficulties explaining these things to my son
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In any case he wanted to see Donnie Darko because of this song...
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Gary Jules -- Mad World
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much like he wanted to see Closer after hearing this song...
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and watching that film together sparked the whole religion debate mentioned above because Donnie often questioned his faith, and my son easily identified with his internal struggle.
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*sigh*
Friday, December 08, 2006
flashback ....Do you remember this?
Two posts in one day I know... but tonight my friend and I were talking about Christmas specials and I (for some reason) remembered a show that was on I think for only a couple years that I loved so much. It has been so long I didn't even remember the name or what the actual animals portrayed were. At first I thought it was Rabbit, then a squirrel, and after a successful Wikipedia search on Christmas Specials I found the name. OMG I was 7 when it was on TV. Yet it made such an impression that I got chills watching these clips.

Do YOU remember this Christmas show?
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and WOW bloopers!!
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worked last night & got home at 1130 ...
made the most (gag) incredible tuna salad (from the cupboard) and egg sandwich ....
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and I like to turn the TV on while I eat
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I don't watch so much TV so whatever is on etc...
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Carson Daily was interviewing Kevin Nealon
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Carson was just rude as hell
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and what happened to him anyway?
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he's (hollywood supposed to be) my age and looks 10 years older
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I mean look at this....

Before (2002) -----------Now (2006)
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wow .. the guy on the right does not look 34
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this picture below is from this PerezHilton.com post
I did not add that caption.. Perez did

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I'm just saying ... Kevin rolled with the punches but still the age jokes kept coming
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I need to go to bed
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I have to leave for work in 5 hours
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bye

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my car temp on the way in...
so you people complaining about 50 or 60 degree weather...


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Thursday, December 07, 2006
Spider had this up today ... makes me feel sad I haven't traveled more domestically.
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so I had to take those maps down, they made my blog all wonky if I used IE.

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that was fun!
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I'm on 2nd shift tonight .. so I haven't been up very long
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I had nothing but the following in my fridge..
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1) Milk
2) a dozen hardboiled eggs
3) salad dressing
4) OJ
5) loaf of wheat bread
6) Butter (left over from the cheesecake)
7) Cream cheese (ditto)
8) Mustard
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I was starving
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I had to be creative
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So I made an egg salad sandwich
with Cayenne Pepper and Italian Salad dressing
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um .. ew
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I think my stomach is on fire
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What is the most creative thing you have ever made
with what is in your fridge?

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maybe this guy snuck in and raided me last night ..

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I think I need some coffee ..
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anyone want a hideous snow man decoration thingy
my mother hated so much she gave it to me?
(she didn't remember I was the one who gave it to HER!!)
of course I didn't tell her ... she would have felt awful
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Happy HNT :)
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S2 156
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
5 Generation wedding Way Back Wed....
Generation
-1-


Rosa & Diego 1918

-2-


Claire & Paul (son of Rosa & Diego)
1943

-3-


Margaret & John (son of Claire and Paul)
1966

-4-

My grandparents Paul & Claire (see 2 above) with my wife and I
on our wedding day
(my parents are John & Margaret)

-5-

My two sons
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Last night I was a guest on the (recording at least) Podcast of two of my favorite bloggers Dan & Jimmi. I have to admit I was a tad bit nervous (you can usually tell because I don't shut up) but completely enjoyed chatting with these two very funny and talented podcasters. I actually had a question for Jimmi I wanted to ask and then totally forgot ... I wish we had been able to chat more on the cast, but Dan and I got into our common adoption interests (we are both adoptees who found their birthfamilies) and I guess I just wouldn't shut up!! In any case, thanks again guys. :)
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I've been tagged by my buddy Polty for a MEME
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"6 Weird Things About Me"

The rules are simple.

1. Each player of this game starts with the “6 weird things about you”.
2. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state this rule clearly.
3. At the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says “you are tagged” in their comments and tell them to read your blog.
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1. I sleep fully clothed (or in my many pairs of Gap pajamas) with socks year round, or at the very least in boxers and a t-shirt. It used to annoy my exes to no end.
2. I almost always have a fan going at home, no matter what room I'm in. I hate stagnant air.
3. I love to collect things. Like for example my 300+ CD Tori Amos official release collection.
4. If I drink Beer it has to be draft, I can't stand bottles or cans.
5. I don't ever go to shopping malls, too many people creep me out. I will often however visit department stores not located inside a mall, sometimes too often :)
6. I love ketchup, something about the vinegar I think, and put it on a lot of foods I shouldn't.
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There .. 6 weird things about me.
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I tag:

click on the image above to go to
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The Jimmi & Dan Variety Cast Site @ Podomatic.com
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
grrr...

Road (parking lot actually) Rage..
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Yesterday I ran to Stop & Shop to pick up a couple things. The lot outside was pretty full. This SUV was pulling out of a spot right in front, so I pulled up a bit, threw my blinker on and waited. It took them a couple minutes to actually pull out and then I saw her in the distance. An elderly woman driving a massive Cadillac. She saw me, I saw her and then out comes this gigantic hand from under the dash (it looked about the size of her head) and hits her signal blinker.
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I was sitting there with my mouth sorta open. The SUV pulled out and I proceeded to head into the spot. That's when Granny gunned it and shot right in, nearly hitting me head on (I was partially pulled in). Ok so my mouth is wide open now. The people in the SUV had stopped and were staring at Noah's ark and it's ancient pilot, the driver (of the SUV) just looked at me, shrugged in disbelief and drove off. Stunned and unable to think I pulled away and found something (eventually).
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The old witch started fiddling with something on her front seat when I walked past her car into the store. She waited until I was inside before getting out, as I could see her from the lobby window.
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Why is it that the entire time I was in the store I had this irritated and unsettling feeling?
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You know it's easy to dismiss the "Road Ragers" as lunatics...
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but seriously ... I don't think it takes a lunatic to be livid over something so unimportant
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It's almost like the blatant lack of respect really hits some sort of nerve..
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Oh well, I got over it eventually
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tho I did stare her wrinkly ass down in the Deli section..
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Fixed her good I did! :)
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Studies have shown old people aren't rude, just uninhibited
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:)
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Last night my friend and I tried to get Audacity to tape both sides of a conversation (we're considering a podcast in the near future). I would have been happy just having each of us record our own audio and then I can bring it together later. The problem is it records both of us, only the other person is barely audible, just enough to be heard but certainly not enough for the final cut. So when I merge the two files there will be an echo... I think I messed up my XP Sound settings while trying to sort it all out. Now I need to find a way to reset them. Ugh...
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anyway ...
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Is the media going to alert us each time this boy falls in and out of a relationship?
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I admire him heaps for coming out, but still ..
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I thought this was too funny :)
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and the winner of yesterday's
Pick your favorite Persian is:
#5
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Monday, December 04, 2006
on time ..
Meaningful Monday
(inspired by my buddy Spider)
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seems like time is slipping away more quickly these days ... the older I get.
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Lost, yesterday, somewhere between sunrise and sunset,
two golden hours, each set with sixty diamond minutes.
No reward is offered, for they are gone forever.
(Horace Mann)
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The more sand that has escaped from the hourglass of our life,
the clearer we should see through it.
(Jean Paul)
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"something's lost but something's gained, in living every day..."
(Joni Mitchell, Both Sides Now)
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Sunday, much like the day before, was uneventful for my sons and I. What I mean to say is we hardly left the Condo, basically hanging out, eating, watching TV and playing Video games. We intended to go see the new Van Wilder, but when the time came to leave they decided it would be better to catch it this coming Saturday (they were very much into what they were doing at the moment and didn't want to pack up and go just yet).
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Yesterday evening I spent listing (on Ebay) 58 of these delightful (gag) little "treasures" for my mother. She's decided to liquidate her collection as she begins the overwhelming process of downsizing in order to sell her primary home here in Massachusetts and remove permanently into her two places (alternatively depending on the season) in Florida and Rhode Island. My condo is about to become overloaded I suspect, there are just some things you can't dispose of.
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This one typically sells for over $100.
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I've been reading this for about a week now and when I do get the time to sit down with it I am riveted. Essentially an account of the founding (primarily by English & Irish convicts) of Australia. The book details through incredibly vivid accounts and civil records, the lives of both the "whites" who arrived on her shores and the native population who initially found the newcomers to their land a curiosity, then later turned (naturally) fearful and aggressive toward them.
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Given the nature of many early immigrants it is no wonder the Island became riddled with prisons right from the start. They were a motley group for sure. The Author details many cases of Murder, Rape (both hetero & homosexual) the brutal anniliation of thousands of native Aboriginies and in gruesome detail, horrifying accounts of cannibalism. It is a very disturbing testament to what happens when you remove every trace of civility and reduce man to his most primal urges and behavior. Pick this one up if you get the chance, it may keep you up nights, but as a reviewer from The Los Angeles Times reports:

"One of the greatest non-fiction books I've ever read ... Hughes brings us an entire world"




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and without further adieu ...
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Middle Eastern Monday
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Pick your favorite Persian

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2


3


4


5

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and as a bonus!
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Have a great Monday everyone!
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