I am seriously considering taking a break from this place for
a while.
Or possibly posting just a couple times a week when the mood hits ...
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Do any of you find that an unhealthy portion of your free time is spent blogging?
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I've posted
nearly every day since July of 2005 and there are often mornings (of late) that I sit in front of the PC drawing a blank, as if I have nothing interesting to write. Then it occurred to me that perhaps the well has run dry, and I need to start paying more attention to the "real" world and less to this virtual semblance of one.
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I began blogging over a year ago as an anonymous vehicle with which to record my brief daily routine/activities/events & sort of "organize my thoughts" (see my
earliest surviving posts to understand what I am talking about) How it has evolved into this place is very much a mystery. Don't get me wrong, it's been a wonderful experience, and I have met some of the most amazing people with whom I would never have had the opportunity to interact otherwise.
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maybe it's just the funk I am in ..
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I've been going through a rough spot lately, drinking perhaps more than I should (what else is new) getting little accomplished apart from blogging (if that can be considered an accomplishment) and in the interim feeling this overwhelming sense of loneliness and depression. It has been said that this is the time of year many people sort of drift off into sadness and reflection, yet I have to ask myself why is it I am struggling? I have two wonderful children, a decent home, apart from some very minor bills my finances are in order ... but still..
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In any case (as if I need to spend more time in front of this PC!) I joined this amazing forum online where thousands from across the globe battling anxiety, depression, alcohol and substance abuse come to share their experiences, ask questions and open up their lives so that perhaps they (and others) will benefit. It's a wonderful site and I am certainly glad I found it.
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I could really use a hug right now ... *sigh*
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maybe I should switch gears then and change the subject ..
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I've just started (yesterday) reading
Desperation by
Stephen King. There are only a handful of non-fiction authors I typically follow, and thus far he's hooked me with this title. I can't put it down honestly. Pick up a copy if you haven't already. It isn't new (1997) I purchased it at the airport in London last year while waiting for my flight to board and ended up forgetting by liftoff. Actually I can rarely get into a book in-flight, I'm usually a nervous wreck. :)
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One last thing .. and it is fairly rare that I am so completely thrown into contemplative confusion over a post, but if you have a moment, please take a look at this incredibly well written, thought provoking essay which was featured on
Best Gay Blogs, the work of
Backward Spiral and entitled :
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"So you want a white wedding do you?"---
The post brings out some very compelling points to light from the standpoint of a Gay man opposed to Gay Marriage. I was riveted. I suspect you will be as well, no matter your opinion. I also see he has no comments which saddens me given the strengths of his position and the ease with witch he presents his argument.
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and now...
yet again it's time for Monday's
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Pick your favorite Persian
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1
2
3
4
5---
and this poor little guy needs a shave!
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Have a great Monday :)
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S2 157
As for HUGS? Kum here vonzt! (as we say in "dutch" country) Have I got a HUG for you!
And while I'm at it, I throw one in for Persian #3, too!
P.S. Yee Gods, what a motely looking crew this time! I guess #3 is the best of the bunch!
I can't decide between #3 and #4. Can I vote for 2?
*more big hugs*
I enjoy reading your posts everyday, but if you need a break I think you should take one (but not too long hehe)
And I would LOVE to give you a hug right now! If you need to take a break, take one! You will be missed but we will be here when you get back.
You need to do what YOU need to do for you and your boys...
AS far as the entry on BGB. I saw it, but don't agree with it, hence no comment. If one wants to intellectualize gay rights go right ahead. If one wants to say that marriage is an archaic institution, go right ahead. But none of us are going to change institutions in our lifetime. And the bottom line is that marriage equates legal, monetary, and ownership equality with our heterosexual counterparts. Does it suit our way of living? Probably not. But we can't change thousands of years of traditions. We can only try to find a way to be equal with it. We are entitled to the same benefits as straights. Once we have our foot in that door - then let's start the intellectualizing :) That's my humble opinion - coming from a 50 year old who wishes to see equality in his lifetime. That young man can dream all he wants, but that kind of thinking ain't going to accomplish anything for gay rights :)
He looks like if he got angry he'd be hot in bed.
Hurray for hot in bed!
Regular readers will not turn you off if you only post once a week. If they do, they were not regular. Or loyal. So screw 'em.
Remember, you are supposed to be blogging for you - not them. If you think you are blogging for your readers, you may as well ask for an entry fee. And any one that insists that you post more often should start paying you.
I understand the blogging thing - my take on it is do whatever you're comfortable with, but know that you could have much unhealthier habits. I think this is a great way to keep in communication with others. I think what you're feeling is very normal - if you're down for several weeks, then you'd probably want to look into it. I had a REALLY bad Saturday, but Sunday was better - look for trends.
We care and I'd miss you if you checked out for good.
as for the "break," yes, i had to do it myself. but i'm still not "over" the frustration caused by our peer... and i really don't have time to be profound with school...
tigeryogi: Good idea (the hunk days) I may just start something similar. I don't think the Persians are so bad this week, they just need to smile.
vuboq: 2 is a great choice, thanks for the Big Hugs :)
steve: I need to cut back yes, that's about it. Oh yes, read that book!! I'm loving it.
lulla: Hey, thanks for the comment, I'm glad to hear you come by and read sometimes! I will have to check out yours as well.
spider: #3 seems to be the most popular today, I can see why. Thank you for always being so sweet buddy!
joshua: Oh I don't necessarily agree with him, but I do think he makes quite a compelling arguement. In all honesty your comment makes a lot of sense, and I agree with your point. We have to look at the whole picture, and as well take whatever avenue necessary to achieve equality in all walks of life. I appreciate that you took the time to spell it out as aptly as you have. *hugs*
mikey: It is my own fault, perhaps I spend more time than I can afford to and that is the problem. I notice that you have been posting much more infrequently, I hope that is working out well for you!
tay: Thanks for the hig, I felt that!:)
jeepy: Or post less frequently, which is most likely what I'll do.
ryan: LOL Hurray indeed!!!
mikell: And I think that is that is exactly what I will do in the future (post when I have something to say). I'd like to think I blog for myself, that is why I have barely missed a day in all this time, it (in some strange way) keeps me organized. I can't explain it. That is why my subject matter may often appear boring and personal. Thanks for the comment, I'm really glad to see you here!! I admire you heaps btw.
purpletwinkie: I've been around long enough to know there are no rules to blogging, but it would be naive to suggest there isn't a certain level of exposure we as bloggers enjoy (literally).. it's what in fact is so often exiting about this, sharing yourself and your experiences with others. I ask you this, if you knew there was not a soul out there reading your blog or that it was somehow private and blocked, would you in fact post with the same passion? I am not chasing comments, but it makes me very happy that people take the time to read what I've written and give me feedback, just as I'm sure they are when others do the same.
steve: another #3? And you are correct I could easily have (and probably do) much more unhealthier diversions. I've just had a rough couple weeks, I'll get through it. I'm glad you are doing better yourself!!
benji: You are one busy guy, I'm surprised you have a second to blog at all!!
bloggin should be a fun thing, not a drain.
A stressful job is one thing but a stressful hobby does not make sense.
Post when you will; the blogworld won't dry up if you put it down for a while.
I know what you mean. I am currently on sabbatical. Mostlybecause of technical difficulties with blogspot and a vacation I just took, but I think I may extend it a bit.
I love your blog and will continue visiting as long as you write. Taking a break to recharge is an option for us all I think.
Not to preach but just to share my experience: Alcohol can cause depression. I gave up alcohol and drugs 4 years ago and have not been depressed since. A crazed lunatic sometimes, but rarely to never depressed.
Hope you feel better.
http://imdb.com/name/nm1616349/
Reguardless, you are a most amazing man and don't you ever friggin forget that! Maybe a little time spent away is what's needed. I feel rather tied to the computer myself sometimes. But I'm here for you, waiting, and will be.
*HUGS!*
Hells yeah. I can't keep up. Something's gotta give.
[hug]
And, take care. Take a deep breath and remember that, as dark as things may feel --- they always get better. Hang in there! ...and try to find ways to make yourself laugh. That's important.
And, never be afraid to reach out to a friend if you're feeling too down! Never!
And, I think you're the hotest Persian!
xox
Hugs
oh and Number 3
And I hope you keep blogging, but regain the balance between blogging and real life. I have recently realised what an addiction it can be, but also what a warm feeling when people care about things I write.
Do what makes you happy,
Cheers, Paul
But then a different kind of impulse sets in... and a true desire to espress yourself gets released. Once you take that break and disappear for a little while, you'll find yourself WANTING to write... and at the end of the day, that's what this is all about... a selfish, yet self-less desire to express yourself in a way that's untainted and untethered by outside influences.
And yeah, #3.
Big hugs... xo
But then a different kind of impulse sets in... and a true desire to espress yourself gets released. Once you take that break and disappear for a little while, you'll find yourself WANTING to write... and at the end of the day, that's what this is all about... a selfish, yet self-less desire to express yourself in a way that's untainted and untethered by outside influences.
And yeah, #3.
Big hugs... xo
Well, we all seem to go through this, huh? No worries either way. Take a breather, at least.
Thanks for the point to that blog entry. He is obviously passionate about his case but still it does not take into account many variables...people with children, couples wishing to adopt children (being gay, as you well know, does not preclude one from wanting to be or already being a parent), people who cannot afford the legal cost of setting up living trusts, wills, etc. that circumvent the need to marry, the desire to assimilate into mainstream society (without losing identity - its possible - and frankly what many Stonewall-era veterans were fighting for) and recognition that while marriage started as a religious institution it is now a government one...those of us in favor of marriage rights are looking to change the legal definition NOT the religious definition (there is a distinction).
Also his entire arguement is based laregely on sex. While I recognize the importance of sex and the need for each couple to define it in their own way it is not, IMHO, the sole defining factor of a relationship or individual. Anyway many heteros and homos have entered into marriage with their own set of rules as to what is and what is not acceptable so it doesn't necessarily even equal repression, in the end.
And does he have to be "against" marriage rights just because he doesn't believe getting married is what gay people should do? Shouldn't that be an individual's choice? If the wind blows right I could be slightly offended by that...
I'm rambling here.
Anyway as a married fag I wholeheartedly disagree with him...but I do respect his passion and willingness to share his opinions and take the "road less traveled".
Thanks again for sharing!!
we'll be here when you do,
I'm sorry you're feeling blue,
here's a hug or two.
*hug* *hug*