Sunday, January 28, 2007
I feel like I've lost touch...
but anyway...
picked up a Wii on Friday.
---
Shit they are hard to find, even now a month after Christmas
---
I tried Best Buy, Circuit City, Target, Walmart, FYI ... everywhere
---
then I called two Gamespots , the 2nd actually had 2 in stock..
---
I was at work, so my friend ran down and snagged it for me
---
The kids stayed over this weekend, I think Wii was definitely a highlight
---
It's not what I expected, takes a bit of time to get used to, but still...
---
---
I also bought this Saturday night. While Nicholas Cage is one of my favorite actors and gave an incredible performance, I had this feeling of frustration at the end. My older son did also. I won't give it away, but all I can say is...
---
Remember how you felt at the end of The Village?
---
there are few (if any) similarities but it was still the same type of unhappy/unsettling feeling
---
rent it don't buy it TRUST me...
---
so something has been bothering me lately, and I guess it has to come out eventually, why not here? I separated from my ex wife 10 years ago almost (well in March) after a 5 year child marriage (we were 21). I moved in with Mom right away. A few months later I met someone and moved in with him. It was a very tough time for me and given the very recent separation, I didn't want to introduce my kids to Matt. They met him casually maybe twice in the three years we lived together. It broke my heart to keep the person I love away from them. But no matter what they come first, it has to be that way, and well they were coping with a lot even at 3 and 5 years old. My older son had been diagnosed with a chemical imbalance and was even more emotionally fragile. Let's not even go into my ex wife's reaction. I mean she freaked out on me one time that I had a completely platonic friend over my mother's house.
---
so my first relationship ended after 3 years
---
my second began almost immediately
---
grass doesn't grow on a rolling stone or something...
---
at the same time Victor found me, my ex wife found her own bf.
---
I was happy for her, truly I was. Until I met him.
---
I knew right off there was something fishy about this guy
---
I did some background searches (she had moved him in with my kids can you blame me?)
---
He was a recent ex-con. There were a lot of things I found unsettling about this guy
---
Let's not even go into the drama that immediately ensued between my ex-wife and I
---
It's behind us now, he turned out to be a decent person and I don't want to relive it
---
and so given what I had recently discovered I decided.. If she is willing to expose my sons to a man like that, why can't I share the warm, loving guy who has become my partner with my sons. And that is exactly what I did. I brought them to my home. I introduced them to Victor and amazingly they instantly bonded. They were a bit older of course 8 and 6. After that first night they stayed over often, and weekends were always the 4 of us.
---
3 years later we split up. Victor& I hadn't spent a night apart in all that time.
---
The kids were upset, my family was upset ... but it was over
---
that was February 2003
---
Its been nearly 4 years now
---
The kids are older, they are little men now. I feel a closeness to them stronger than ever.
---
unfortunately I have been single now 4 years, I have dated on and off but not so much. Needless to say I have not introduced them to anyone. I wouldn't unless it was someone I was in love with. I haven't found that to date. But if I do ...
---
My kids have grown pretty uncomfortable with homosexuality. Part of it maybe is the pressure from classmates and society, part of it perhaps is that I am a very masculine guy who does not feel completely comfortable talking about my attraction to men with them. I mean talking about what attracts you to your children is not an acceptable subject no matter what your sexual preference, so you can imagine how they probably supress the knowledge that their dad lives as an openly gay man.
---
There was a close call recently. I was dating someone that I have some pretty strong feelings for. It didn't work out but I was thinking. What would they think? There was a time when they openly accepted my partner. They are well aware that I am gay. Is it possible they will be as accepting this time? I know my family would be fine, but my kids are the two most important to people in my life. Nobody else matters quite as much as they do.
---
anyway ... that's what has been on my mind.
---
Hope you all had a great week and weekend :)
Written at 6:16 PM by The Persian.
32 comments
Friday, January 19, 2007
yay...

---
I got my W2 this morning at 8AM from the receptionist
---
I had E-Filed my federal and Telefiled my State by 8:35
---
$1181 in total ... I will be as rich as Midas in 2 weeks
---
I want to get the PS3 for my kids
---
Yea ok $599+tax (and the games) is a bit steep but still ... we'll see
---
Sorry guys I haven't been around much lately work has been madcrazy
---
life hasn't been much easier
---
anyway....
---
Here is a video clip I think you guys should take a look at .. wait for the young Persian man to speak (half thru an interpreter) before shutting it off. Propaganda is a very dangerous weapon. It is quite obvious watching this that it is pretty effective as well. I mean some of us will view the clip doubting the mans sincerity. I do not. What I do doubt however is the integrity of my own government. I mean they (my distantly related brethren) are supposed to detest Americans aren't they? Let me know what you think.
---




---
I guess that's it for now
---
Have a great weekend everyone :)
Written at 9:51 PM by The Persian.
21 comments
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
yikes...
---
freeking New England Winters.... my car on the way in..
---
I have I been slacking lately ... well here anyway
---
It's just that work has been so insane and I get kind of stressed out (they are still interviewing my boss's potential replacement candidates) with the work overload, by the time I get home I am void of energy and just want to lie down or something. Blogging from work (as I have typically done) is now impossible (not for an an abundance of supervision certainly, more correctly the absence of any free time).
---
ugh and when they do finally find somebody ... the training I have to do is going to be insane
---
I trained my boss in fact (well for the most part)
---
we bought out a company he had 25 years service with and it was part of some understanding he would head our IT department here. Somehow I didn't mind his taking on the position, I like him heaps (but I think I said that before). I hope he gets well soon and can come back to us.
---
ok enough boring talk about work..
---
funny how when it rains it pours...
---
so what have I done since Saturday...
---
Sunday was a laid back day with the kids, and we went to see A Night at The Museum.
---
ehk it was horrible. Great cast however, especially it's really cool to see Mickey Rooney is still alive and at work. Yikes he must be 200 years old (ok maybe that's a slight exaggeration but still, the man has been around for an eternity). I looked it up and even my 82 year old Grandmother was like 5 when he made his first film. Talk about a long career!!
---
nothing really to report on the last two days. Work, nap, dinner, workout, read sleep.
---
*HUMONGOUS YAWN*
---
this coffee isn't kicking in sadly and I have 10 minutes to jump in the shower
---
ever try to catch an unwilling cat for a quick picture?
---
she's a stubborn little punk...
---



---
laters :)
Written at 8:40 AM by The Persian.
15 comments
Saturday, January 13, 2007
saw this with the kids today ....
---
Son numero uno and I liked it.
---
his younger brother did not ....
---
Yea ok I admit it, my hand was over my eyes a couple times ...
---
But 40 Foot long Cocodrillos (see HS Spanish teacher I've retained some vocab) are scary
---
Speaking of my younger son .. we made another Guitar Video today
---



---
This kid has some serious potential .. he hasn't had any lessons (I'm working on that)
---
Oh yea and my older son asked me today about Duke
---
He's been reading the blog.
---
so I dedicate this post (he has such an eclectic taste in music) to him
click arrow to Play
---
White Rabbit
Lacrimosa
Show Business
Everything's coming up roses
---
I Love you Steven :)



Written at 9:04 PM by The Persian.
18 comments
Thursday, January 11, 2007
dia treinta y cinco ..
(random google image which I found particularly interesting ... obviously not me )
---
not too bad .. the momentum has kicked in certainly
---
and that is the key here .. momentum (gets me everywhere)
---
and this my friends is a thirteen minute post ..
---
ready... set ... go
---
yesterday was absolutely insane at work. My highest superior informed me my boss will most likely not return from his illness leave. They just still can't figure out what is wrong with him. (not to gross anyone out but...) Essentially the poor fellow has been urinating blood now for 6 weeks. The Doctors (as I said) are clueless despite numerous tests. Poor guy. I like him heaps. We will be holding his position indefinitely but soon must find a temporary replacement.
---
one last thing/question...
---
I have noticed so many of you switching to Wordpress ... and am thinking of soon following suit
---
any pointers? do I lose my old blogger posts or need I just link the old blog to the sidebar?
---
any advice/experiences would be more than appreciated
--
I am sort of rushed this morning .. not that anyone would notice if I was a tad bit late...
---
My Chemical Romance -- Teenagers

Written at 7:44 AM by The Persian.
15 comments
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
things are heaps better today .. and
I got the most amazing compliment yesterday ...
---
So I have mentioned before how the bosses nephew has been working on and off with me over the past year. He's off on college break now and yesterday was his last day with us (well with my boss out indefinitely it's just he and I)
---
He's just turned 19
---
He has mentioned this a couple times in the past, I always shirked it off..
---
He told me I don't belong working for his Uncle's (and late grandfather's) company.
---
He said that I am being underutilized, that I have too much potential and could be making twice or three times my current salary elsewhere. He also said that I stand out like a sore thumb in a company of idiots. Now you must understand this company belongs to his family, not just his uncle but also mother and late grandparents. His mother would be very upset if she knew he was pushing me to better myself and move on. But yet he said it just the same. I suppose it's something I have heard before from my ex-wife, family and friends. I just always have chosen to ignore it, like they were giving me empty compliments. Coming from this kid tho, who has no incentive to be anything other than objective, it somehow hit home and in a big way. This guy probably has an IQ in the genius level, even at his very young age I value his words tremendously. This was the first company I ever worked for full time, just after I married and a week before my older son was born.
---
What is holding me back?
I now have a degree (BA) and more than a decade of experience in my field.
I am seriously starting to give his advice some thought.
---
I haven't been happy in ages anyway .. and my salary is horrid ($17.00 an hour)
---
moving right along...
---
I have not been able to get to many blogs the last few days. Work has been INSANE (as previously posted) and posting from my desk is always a risky idea given the way they monitor internet usage. Let's not even go into the blogger issues lately. I am afraid I just might have to bite the bullet and switch to wordpress like so many of you have. This place could use an overhaul anyway .. I really like what some people have done lately with their templates.
---
Way back wednesday...
the bearded Persian
---
god how my ex wife hated that scruffage ...
---
---
well my power has been thankfully restored .. (those bastards were so punishing me!)
---
You guys all made me feel so much better yesterday...
thanks soo much for all the amazing cyber affection!
---
a fun meme ..
---
stolen from Steve who stole it from Tigeryogi
---
1. The phone rings. Who are you hoping it is?
One of my kids, I love it when they call me during the week (I have them every weekend).

2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
usually to the cart storage thing in the parking lot, rarely all the way back to the front of the store.

3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener? depends on how many drinks I've had (and how well I know the others) I am a super shy person in a room full of people I do not know.

4. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive? Most likely, I have a great appreciation for life and would put up one hell of a fight before giving in.

5. Do you like to ride horses? Growing up we had horses on our property since I was about 8. I also showed all the way up until I was in my late teens.

6. Did you ever go to camp as a kid? Yes I would usually spend two weeks in the summer at camp in the country. I loved it.

7. What was your favorite board game as a kid? Monopoly.

8. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was taken what would you do? Apart from being flattered nothing. That is despicable in my book.

9. Are you judgmental? On occasion..

10. Would you date someone with different religious beliefs? of course

11. Are you continuing your education? Since I finally completed my BA a few years ago I have not once even considered going back. Well maybe once, but the desire passed quickly when I remembered how much of a pain it is to take night courses. 3 hours an evening after working the whole day stresses me out.

12. Do you know how to shoot a gun? no guns have never interested me.

13. If your house was on fire, what's the first thing you'd grab? my cat of course, followed by my old family photos and videos.

14. How often do you read books? lately, I've been reading consistently a new book every couple evenings. I'm on a Stephen King phase of late. This is his forth since Early December I am working on (Lisey's Story)

15. Do you think more about the past, present or future? Well, I was a history major in college and am an avid genealogist so I guess more about the past than most. But in fairness I am pretty focused on where my life is going forward. I think it's a mix actually.

16. What is your favorite children's book? Where did I come from by Peter Mayle. My mother used to read that to me a lot as a kid. Those were such special times for me. See now I'm getting all sentimental *wipes away tear* Now if I think about my own two sons, it's the laughter which would erupt when I used to read them Dr. Suess when I first had them on weekends after my seperation from their mother (they were 2 1/2 and 5 at the time). They would laugh so hard and I always followed suit. Such memories... kids grow up way too quickly.

17. How tall are you? 6'

18. Where is your ideal house located? near my children and family. I could never relocate away from them. At least while they are young, I've always lived in the same county here in Massachusetts, and while I love to travel (and do often) home base shall always be here. I just like the ancient feeling of being on land first settled by one of my ancestors in 1637. It is an amazing sense of belonging I can't fully explain.

19. Last person you talked to? hm.. I guess my friend Jake.

21. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden? Wow that one came out of nowhere. It's been probably 10 years. It isn't that I don't like it, just haven't been lately.

22. What are your keys on your key chain for? Car, Condo, parents house, work

23. What did you do last night? Nothing of note, went online, cooked dinner (amazing boneless pork chops diced into chunks, sauteed in hot salsa and cayenne pepper, melted pepper jack cheese and wrapped in these wheat tortillas) and then read some more of Lisey's Story.

24. Where is your current pain at? I don't have any thankfully!

25. Do you like mustard? Sure, but use it rarely.

26. Do you like your mom or dad? of course!!

27. How long does it take you in the shower? depends on the time of day, in the morning I could stay in there 30 minutes. Something about a hot shower in the AM, it's wonderful.

28. What movie do you want to see right now? I've seen way too many movies lately, I was just looking through the listings last night, nothing looks interesting that I haven't seen.

29. Do you put lotion on your dog or cats? um..no!

30. What did you do for New Year's? walked around Northampton MA with a date I could have done without. I was in bed by maybe 1.

31. Do you think The Grudge was scary? I hated it, but then again I can't stand Sarah Michelle Gellar. She's godawful.

32. Do you own a camera phone? I'd be lost without it yes.

33. What's the last letter of your middle name? "T"

34. Who did you vote for on American Idol? Shows like that never interest me. I seldom turn the TV on, unless it's to pop in a DVD, even that is a rarity.

---
S34 154
Written at 7:38 AM by The Persian.
26 comments
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
if there was ever a day I needed a drink..
It was yesterday..
---
Work was horrid, the calls never stopped, the velocity requests poured in all day long (we've just reached month, quarter and year end). I am performing the responsibilites of two people, on the most hectic day of the week. We are usually both straight out, so you can imagine me trying to tackle everything myself, with rigid deadlines. I was looking forward to getting home, relaxing and possibly taking a stress relieving nap...
---
I walked in the door. I smelled something. Everything was very dark.
---
FCK! They shut my electric off.
---
My Electric bills for the past year have increased more than double. I was paying 60-70 a month when I first moved into the Condo in October of '05. By the summer of '06 the bills were averaging $160-180. It has been a struggle to keep up with them. Last November I paid up the whole overdue mess ($370). Two months pass quickly. Ive been waiting for my Tax Refund to pay off the new balance. November and December's bills combined totalled $368.
---
I went to call them from my cell, and big surprise, it was nearly dead.
---
I had to get in my car and try and call them.
---
There is something also wrong with my cell, you can only charge it while off. Merely plugging it in while using it will not work.
---
I finally got them on the line...
---
Paid them the whole amount (so much for my condo fee being on time this month...)
---
She said she would have it on tomorrow before 4
---
Tomorrow???? I said..
---
"Yes, you can't expect same day service when you call after 4."
---
I made sure to hang up JUST before the first in a series of explicatives rushed out of my mouth
---
I went back inside, lit some candles, powered up my laptop and ....
---
watched it shut right down for lack of battery power
---
*sigh*
---
I had to get out of the house, possibly to the sprint store to get my phone repaired (the charging issue mentioned above, plus a broken antenna). I have full coverage for both parts and complete phone replacement. I dropped it off and they told me to come back at 8:00. I had a gift card for this kool new restaurant across the street. My friend met me and we had dinner...
---
returning to the sprint store on time ... I presented the receipt and was told
---
"Im sorry there is corrosion inside the phone, it must have been exposed to moisture. We can't touch it. We can't even replace your antenna. We could be held responsible for further damage. However, you are covered (I pay an additional monthly fee) for full replacement, give this number a call (hands me card) and you can have a new unit in two days. You don't have to send yours in until you receive the replacement. "
---
*RING*
---
"Hello...", menu option blah blah blah, $50 replacement deductable blah blah
---
WTF? I guess I'm keeping this piece of crap a while longer...
---
I went home. I sat there in the dark, candles dimly reflecting against the walls and table.
---
I had never felt so frustrated and isolated in my life.
---
:(
---
S33 153


Written at 9:19 AM by The Persian.
22 comments
Monday, January 08, 2007
the weekend...
Have you ever met one of those delusional souls who believe they have this gift thing that within a relatively brief period of time can make widesweeping generalities about someone's character? They claim to have this amazing ability...
---
They just "know" and have never been wrong ...
---
That's what happened with Mr. Duke. He informed me that if we got serious I would surely cheat on him. Men who are as goodlooking as I am always do, they can't help themselves. WTF! From spending 2 evenings together he decided he would take it upon himself to start drilling everyone on my g.com buddy list (which is displayed as many of you know from your profile view). I received two of these saved conversations from friends. Yikes! He sure was looking for something ... I've since discovered he's done this with at least one other who he dated briefly. As soon as I received the email I told Mr. Duke to shove off, and then he became rather verbally abusive. I believe his last departing words were "happy hooking!".
---
Later in the evening he messaged me apologizing for his behavior
he said he was completely wrong, couldn't bear the thought of not seeing me again
and that he hoped I would forgive him...
---
anyway... subject change I'm Duke'd out at the moment
---

---
I spent the weekend searching for a Wii, with no success. I am still kicking myself that 10 days before Christmas I was at Toys R Us and they had heaps of them. HEAPS! I just figured I would wait until after the holidays when my finances were in better shape...
---
yea right..
---
I tried Best Buy, Circuit City, Target, Walmart, Toys R Us , Costco, and then just for the hell of it CompUSA (I bought an XBox there a couple years ago so I took a shot).
---
Nobody has them...
---
I'm.very.sad
---
When will this ridiculous shortage be over??? Summer?
---
anyone out there know of a major chain (or store in the Northeast) who have any?
---
well I'm at work and alone.
I have tons to do and shouldn't be here.. hehe
---
Hope everyone is having a decent Monday morning (if there is such a thing)
---
check this track out ... I'm addicted
---
My Chemical Romance -- Teenagers
---
S32 153

Written at 9:16 AM by The Persian.
22 comments
Saturday, January 06, 2007
what a day ...
couldn't wait to run out and see Children of Men last night, which came out yesterday ..
---
I've been anxiously awaiting it's release since first watching the theatre previews months ago.
---
I was not disapointed.
---
Sure the storyline is inconceivable, but they pull it all together quite well and for 2 hours you believe it's happening and are riveted (at least that was my experience). Clive Owen , Michael Caine, Julienne Moore give equally (and typically) amazing performances. That's all I'll say, make sure to catch it somehow in film or DVD.
---
moving right along ..
---
As planned, I snagged My Chemical Romance tickets at the presale yesterday morning.
---
Work stressed the hell out of me yesterday, the calls & requests never let up
(my boss still absent now, it's going on week 4 with no end in sight).
---
question...
---
any other Stephen King addicts out there?
---
I've been reading quite a bit of late (for a change) and am now on my 4th of his works I've attacked since I stopped partaking in the hooch exactly ONE MONTH ago today (insert *proud grin* here). In any case I've read since early December Thinner, Desperation, Bag of Bones and am now a third-way through ..
---
---
This one is my favorite yet. It's his most recent.
---
Oddly I have never been a big fan of fiction. My reads have typically been Histories, Biographies, and the occasional historical Fiction (I have also attempted on several occasions to contribute , with little success thus far. I love to write, and in my bedroom closet you will find dozens of notebooks containing my numerous attempts to complete something of substance. Perhaps some day I'll finish one of them).
---
Anyone else had a go at Lisey's Story? Better yet, Cell (his other 2006 release,
it's next in my queue after Lisey, this man has been quite prolific of late) ?
I'd love your input should you have started or even completed either.
---
It will be an amazingly beautiful day today in New England I'm told. We should expect temperatures in the 70's. I will be picking up my little monsters in about an hour, perhaps after (yet again) tackling the malls to liquidate their numerous Christmas Gift Cards they will agree to a walk along the River (we have an incredible bike path not far from my Condo, which in summer the three of us often take advantage of).
---
Hope everyone has a great Weekend!!
---
thought I would upload one of my (overplayed a tad but still)
favorite My Chemical Romance tracks in celebration of my recent lucky snag..
---
My Chemical Romance -- The Black Parade
---
S30 150

Written at 9:36 AM by The Persian.
18 comments
Friday, January 05, 2007
last night ...
arrived home about 4:30 after yet another chaotic work day (my boss being absent still)
---
took a shower, relaxed a bit, and then around 5 Duke arrived
---
Set off almost immediately to BIG Y
---
We bought a bunch of stuff to make Chicken Salads and they were amazing
---
afterward we sat and talked a bit and then popped in a movie
---
Darkness Falls was his choice from my 300+ DVDs
---
He's a difficult read. I am not so sure where this is going.
But it was a decent evening in any case.
---
Is it just me or does the old "getting to know you phase" seem exhaustive of late ..
---
maybe that in itself is a bad sign... I dunno
---

ok so on to something more positive (my kids, who knew?)
---
I snagged tickets over The Holidays for two events...
---
Taking Back Sunday
(my younger son)
UMASS Amherst Mullins Center
---
and..
---
La nozze di Figaro
Shubert Theatre
Boston
(my older son, who has developed an adoration for Motzart of late)
---
I have heard much from him about the Historic Shubert Theatre
Evidently it was the first venue Playwright Arthur Miller ever attended.
---
very much looking forward to both, as are they.
---
I am also picking up tickets for this show when the presale goes live at 10AM today..
---
---

My Chemical Romance
Saturday, February 24, 2007
New England Dodge Music Center
Doors: 6:30 | Show: 7:30 pm

---
I'm in a better mood already ... thinking about the kids always has that effect on me.
---
running a bit late right now, I sort of overslept a tad
---
my track of the week (usually means it's getting excessive play)
---
Jack's Mannequin - Miss Delaney
---
Duke didn't like it so much .. hehe imagine THAT! :)
---
S29 151

Written at 7:01 AM by The Persian.
19 comments
Thursday, January 04, 2007
first of all ....
---
give this film a chance , yes I know we were all sadly disappointed by The Village.
---
We bought this (because I never had time to see it during the brief time it was in theaters) on Saturday. It is an amazing film, suspenseful, inspiring, tear jerking, wonderfully uplifting. The monsters are real this time, and the acting superb. It got horrid reviews, which baffles me because I loved it so much I've watched twice in a span of three days. Seriously guys, check it out!!
---
M. Night Shyamalan had a much larger role in this film
---
---
and I'm sure not complaining ... :)
---
anyway ..
---
Yesterday was insane, just like the past three weeks here at work. My boss is out and I'm alone. Something is gravely wrong with him, he's been urinating blood for almost a month now and the doctors can't figure out the cause. I have completely absorbed his responsibilities as well as my own and even tho I have some help (basically someone to answer the other phones and take messages for me) it has been overwhelming to say the least. At the end of the day I feel like I've been hit by a PVTA Bus, all I want to do is cuddle up on the couch and sleep. Stress can do that to you, or so I'm told.
---
On a positive note, it's the bosses nephew home from College on Christmas Break who is helping me. He's a lot of fun. We get along smashingly. :) I am not going to be so happy when he has to go back. But at least for now it's something.
---
Duke's coming over tonight! We are going to cook together something chickenish and then watch a movie or two. I can't WAIT to see him. Haven't been so exited to go on a (third) date in well, years (since I was first dating my ex Victor). We talk a lot on the phone and online, he lives about 40 minutes away and that is proving to he a struggle. Not to mention he lives with this older disabled guy who pretty much has his rent covered (not so sure what to make of that one).
---
He works in Customer Service, more appropriately Telemarketing. His position is not very secure, and I would bet not so well paying. We will make a motley pair should this grow into something more serious. I have little to spare myself at the end of a work week. I mean I have no Mortgage or Car payments, but between the bills I do have and doing stuff with my kids on the weekends I just about make it. I'm not complaining, I would spend all of my extra money on them if I could, which is why I am possibly looking into working a 2nd job soon, or perhaps something that pays better. Anyway, we're two financially challenged guys. It will be all about creative fun if we do anything. Like tonight, we are hitting the grocery to buy some salad stuff instead of dining out. Actually it sounds like more fun to me anyway. I love to cook , or at least attempt to cook.
---
That's it for now ... overburdening work calls again yikes
---
Oh and I locked myself out of the condo this morning, had to call my Aunt to bring over a spare set of keys I had given her. I hope it's not an omen as to how the rest of the day will progress..
---
S28 154

Written at 9:34 AM by The Persian.
16 comments
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
things always happen so fast...
Way Back Wednesday ... my relationship history
---
It's been 9 years since I separated/divorced from my ex-wife and essentially came out
---
I moved to my mothers right after and lived there for about 4 months, started going out and meeting people online (I hadn't been with a guy in any way yet, not even as a teen) until I met my first bf. Oddly we were together for a month before I moved in with him, and it lasted three very tumultuous years. It was my first, I probably wasn't ready for it and unfortunately the relationship suffered from what can best be described as timing. It was pretty intense. I hurt him heaps.


here we are At First Night in Boston 1999/2000 New Years Eve, it's not the best picture of him, he really was (and is still I suppose) a very cute guy. Wish I could put my hands on another picture but alas, at work my resources are limited. In any case I was not completely faithful toward the end, we were fighting a lot. He tried and tried .. but after 3 years living together i fell in love with someone else. It wasn't intentional, I certainly wasn't looking, and it was someone I knew casually through friends. At first I tried to ignore what was happening, he was a bit younger (21) but kept persuing me. I left my first for him in 2000.
---
If I thought my first was intense, my second was far worse.
---
we "met" Halloween 2000 and split February 2003
---
In that time we were never apart for even one night (with a single exception when he had to visit his father for 3 days) and he officially moved in within the first month. We had an incredible bond, and also had heaps in common. I have never been with anyone who I felt so close to as Victor. Perhaps we should have let each other breathe a bit more. The intensity (and excessive drinking) destroyed us in the end. We still can't speak to one another. He hasn't come back for his posessions (it's more than three years now, he basically packed a bag and moved out when we split, part of me thinks he didn't think it would be permanent) and left 10 boxes of stuff.
---

Here is my 2nd BF the year we split
---
The saddest part is how close he came to my family and children. (My first bf never got the chance to spend time with them, the separation from my ex-wife was new, there were hostilities, homophobia, she was threatening me should the kids be around "those type" of people (and I fell for it, I was so stupid)). Anyway ... it ended, I still have a place in my heart with his name on it and I know he does as well. We managed to have a couple conversations alone in a bar recently and (as alcohol was involved) got a lot off our chests. It was a positive thing we both needed to do. He seems to be doing very well these days which makes me very happy.
---
So I've been single since February of 2003. It is the first time I have been alone in my life. I went from parents to wife (at 21), wife back to parents, parents to my first bf (3 years live in), first to 2nd bf (2 1/2 years live in) and then finally single alone me. I had to adapt to a lot of new things, especially cooking and cleaning by myself yikes! You can't exactly call me a homemaker but I think I have learned a great deal living alone. Of course I do have a friend who I am quite close to who I spend time with (completely platonic since day one). He has filled a lot of the void, and I suppose since he is single as well I have filled voids in his own life (and protected him from the money grubbing users he has historically fallen prey to).
---
So I've dated...
---
So I have met some interesting people...
---
I've met a few frogs... I've met one or two "Princes" at least asthetically
---
I've met a couple people I was attracted to but could not bond with on any other level..
---
I need it to be the whole package, attraction is not enough
---
It's been frustrating. I have grown tired of bars and chat rooms.
---
Then a week ago I met Duke...
---

---
scary webcam picture but at least it's something.
It's not very flattering, and doesn't do him justice.
---
he's a year older than I am, which I love because we grew up in the same era.
Lately I have been on dates with older people who never really get me.
---
He definitely does..
---
We spent two hours last Friday walking around the mall, and all day (1-7) New Years Day hanging out watching Videos, talking about music and drinking coffee.
---
It really looks good so far kids!
---
We're going to hang out tomorrow night and then go out this weekend.
He is as exited as I am to see one another again. Neither of us can believe we found each other.
---
Well I should get back to work... I need to get back into posting more regularly since I've been back, it's just that at the moment so much is going on in my life and work I am overwhelmed.
---
S27 154
Written at 12:35 PM by The Persian.
15 comments
Monday, January 01, 2007
---
wow where did the last year go so fast??
---
Hope you all had a decent New Years Eve ..
this was the first one in a while I stayed up past midnight
---
the thing is I didn't really want to, but I was sort of obligated
---
I had this second date thing
---
it was not so much fun , bored to tears would just about cover it..
---
about 7:30 he picked me up and we headed north to this local gay Mecca called Northampton.
---
conversation was lacking, I found no common ground with which to draw something out.
---
the attraction wasn't there either , but that isn't always the most important thing.
---
Dinner was ok, Japanese. Once again the conversation was far from stimulating. Afterwards we hit a gourmet chocolate shop, and then Startbucks. The more time I spent with this guy the more I felt like I needed to escape. I mean he's a really sweet person, but there was just something I can't put my foot on that made me want to tell him I wasn't feeling so well or that I needed sleep so I could catch a midnight flight to Melbourne.
---
In any case I at least got him to take me home, but felt obligated to at least see the New Year thru with him. We started watching The Hours (one of my favorites) and then switched to NBC to watch the ball drop and catch the second performance of Panic! . Poor Carson Daly, I just can't help but wonder when that boy will start eating again .... I started "yawning" right after and (thankfully) he left. There will not be a third date ...
---
This guy gives the phrase "older than his years" a whole new dimension ..
---
so backtracking a little .. those chocolates from last night are calling me right now
---
*wipes vanilla truffle off chin*
---
The weekend (apart from last night) was amazing, we (the kids and I) had lunch with Grammy & Aunt at this horrible place near the former's condo Saturday. My older son wouldn't even order and his younger brother complained afterward how much he wished he had done the same. Gram in her typical style of late ordered something (with much coaxing from the rest of us) and then proceeded to complain as soon as it had arrived. There was one point we were afraid she was going to throw it at my poor Aunt. (It was in the air guys and the way she was holding that plate it was anyones guess as to where she was tossing it)
---
Thankfully we convinced her that it was something she usually enjoys (a pasta / broccoli dish with garlic and olive oil). She's such a hoot! afterward the three of us headed to a music store so my younger son could pick up a case for his new guitar .. then we came back here and (at his request) made a video of him playing a little ... he's so adorable. I sometimes forget he's just 12!! here it is ..
---




---
He's not had any lessons since age 8, and has taught himself to read sheet music! I am incredibly proud of the little guy. I mean he's 12! Sometimes I forget because of his size (5'10 200) that he's just a little kid inside, it's pretty easy to do considering his maturity level.
---
one more thing ...
---
On Friday evening I finally gave in and met this guy I've been talking to a while now online. We met at a local mall and walked around talking for 2 hours. It was a lot of fun. We (unlike my New Years Eve date) have heaps in common. He's quite interesting. It also helps that I think he's very good looking. 6'3 170 Steel blue eyes and a year older than I am. He could pass for 26.
---
He's coming down for a visit today .. we are going to lunch and then maybe a movie or something. Maybe the fact that he was on my mind last night didn't help me deal so well with my date's inability to interest me. I swear when it rains it freaking pours around here.
---
but hey, I'm not complaining ..
---
this sobriety thing is agreeing with me big time.
---
S25 150
Written at 9:03 AM by The Persian.
20 comments