Sunday, January 28, 2007
I feel like I've lost touch...
but anyway...picked up a Wii on Friday.
---
Shit they are hard to find, even now a month after Christmas
---
I tried Best Buy, Circuit City, Target, Walmart, FYI ... everywhere
---
then I called two Gamespots , the 2nd actually had 2 in stock..
---
I was at work, so my friend ran down and snagged it for me
---
The kids stayed over this weekend, I think Wii was definitely a highlight
---
It's not what I expected, takes a bit of time to get used to, but still...
---
---
---
there are few (if any) similarities but it was still the same type of unhappy/unsettling feeling
---
rent it don't buy it TRUST me...
---
---
Shit they are hard to find, even now a month after Christmas
---
I tried Best Buy, Circuit City, Target, Walmart, FYI ... everywhere
---
then I called two Gamespots , the 2nd actually had 2 in stock..
---
I was at work, so my friend ran down and snagged it for me
---
The kids stayed over this weekend, I think Wii was definitely a highlight
---
It's not what I expected, takes a bit of time to get used to, but still...
---
---I also bought this Saturday night. While Nicholas Cage is one of my favorite actors and gave an incredible performance, I had this feeling of frustration at the end. My older son did also. I won't give it away, but all I can say is...
Remember how you felt at the end of The Village?---
---
there are few (if any) similarities but it was still the same type of unhappy/unsettling feeling
---
rent it don't buy it TRUST me...
---
so something has been bothering me lately, and I guess it has to come out eventually, why not here? I separated from my ex wife 10 years ago almost (well in March) after a 5 year child marriage (we were 21). I moved in with Mom right away. A few months later I met someone and moved in with him. It was a very tough time for me and given the very recent separation, I didn't want to introduce my kids to Matt. They met him casually maybe twice in the three years we lived together. It broke my heart to keep the person I love away from them. But no matter what they come first, it has to be that way, and well they were coping with a lot even at 3 and 5 years old. My older son had been diagnosed with a chemical imbalance and was even more emotionally fragile. Let's not even go into my ex wife's reaction. I mean she freaked out on me one time that I had a completely platonic friend over my mother's house.
---
so my first relationship ended after 3 years
---
my second began almost immediately
---
grass doesn't grow on a rolling stone or something...
---
at the same time Victor found me, my ex wife found her own bf.
---
I was happy for her, truly I was. Until I met him.
---
I knew right off there was something fishy about this guy
---
I did some background searches (she had moved him in with my kids can you blame me?)
---
He was a recent ex-con. There were a lot of things I found unsettling about this guy
---
Let's not even go into the drama that immediately ensued between my ex-wife and I
---
It's behind us now, he turned out to be a decent person and I don't want to relive it
---
so my first relationship ended after 3 years
---
my second began almost immediately
---
grass doesn't grow on a rolling stone or something...
---
at the same time Victor found me, my ex wife found her own bf.
---
I was happy for her, truly I was. Until I met him.
---
I knew right off there was something fishy about this guy
---
I did some background searches (she had moved him in with my kids can you blame me?)
---
He was a recent ex-con. There were a lot of things I found unsettling about this guy
---
Let's not even go into the drama that immediately ensued between my ex-wife and I
---
It's behind us now, he turned out to be a decent person and I don't want to relive it
---
and so given what I had recently discovered I decided.. If she is willing to expose my sons to a man like that, why can't I share the warm, loving guy who has become my partner with my sons. And that is exactly what I did. I brought them to my home. I introduced them to Victor and amazingly they instantly bonded. They were a bit older of course 8 and 6. After that first night they stayed over often, and weekends were always the 4 of us.
---
3 years later we split up. Victor& I hadn't spent a night apart in all that time.
---
The kids were upset, my family was upset ... but it was over
---
that was February 2003
---
Its been nearly 4 years now
---
The kids are older, they are little men now. I feel a closeness to them stronger than ever.
---
3 years later we split up. Victor& I hadn't spent a night apart in all that time.
---
The kids were upset, my family was upset ... but it was over
---
that was February 2003
---
Its been nearly 4 years now
---
The kids are older, they are little men now. I feel a closeness to them stronger than ever.
---
unfortunately I have been single now 4 years, I have dated on and off but not so much. Needless to say I have not introduced them to anyone. I wouldn't unless it was someone I was in love with. I haven't found that to date. But if I do ...
---
My kids have grown pretty uncomfortable with homosexuality. Part of it maybe is the pressure from classmates and society, part of it perhaps is that I am a very masculine guy who does not feel completely comfortable talking about my attraction to men with them. I mean talking about what attracts you to your children is not an acceptable subject no matter what your sexual preference, so you can imagine how they probably supress the knowledge that their dad lives as an openly gay man.
---
There was a close call recently. I was dating someone that I have some pretty strong feelings for. It didn't work out but I was thinking. What would they think? There was a time when they openly accepted my partner. They are well aware that I am gay. Is it possible they will be as accepting this time? I know my family would be fine, but my kids are the two most important to people in my life. Nobody else matters quite as much as they do.
---
anyway ... that's what has been on my mind.
---
Hope you all had a great week and weekend :)
anyway ... that's what has been on my mind.
---
Hope you all had a great week and weekend :)
32 Comments:
Archive
July 2005August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
August 2008
September 2008
November 2008
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
November 2009
March 2011
January 2012
Friends
Etc
]^23396]^23390]^23000](](],]]]black],]3]1]2]3]1]1]3]1]2]3]1]1](](],]^2352A300])])mofrad.net/banner/ban2.jpeg]]],](],](](]^23663](](](]^23000](](](]^23152B00](](],](]75]20],](](]^23999967])])]^232B2B1C]1.5]5],](](]^23999967])])]black]^23999967])])]^23666]30]black]black],](](]^23333](],](]^23333]^23039]^2306C],](](]^23999967])])],](](]^23D4D48E])])],](](]^23999967])])],](]black]^23666]15]3]25]20]black],](](],](],](](],](]black](](](],](](](],]black](](](],](](]^23333](](](](](],]^2336F]^23333](],](]Written^20at^20^24TIME^20by^20^24AUTH.]20],](](]black])])]^23999967])])]^23666]30]black]black](](](]^23333](],](]^232B2B1C]^232B2B1C]^23FFFFA6]]]]Home]^24HOME]First^20Page]Email]^24EMAIL]Mail^20me^21]RSS]^24RSS]RSS^20Feed]Archive]]]^24ARCHIVE]^20]]Friends]]]Horm])blog.horm.org]Hallucinations^20Of^20Reabsorbed^20Mind]Phorm])p.horm.org]Another^20Phormation]Etc]]]^3Cimg^20src^3D^22)psyc.horm.org/barimg/bar_psycho.png^22^20width^3D^2280^22^20height^3D^2215^22^20alt^3D^22PsycHo^3A^20Free^20Template^20Generator^22^20style^3D^22border^3A^200px^20solid^20black^22^20/^3E]^24PSYCHO]PsycHo^3A^20Free^20Template^20Generator]^3Cimg^20src^3D^22)psyc.horm.org/barimg/bar_firefox.png^22^20width^3D^2280^22^20height^3D^2215^22^20alt^3D^22Get^20FireFox^21^22^20style^3D^22border^3A^200px^20solid^20black^22^20/^3E])www.mozilla.org/products/firefox/]Get^20Firefox^21]^3Cimg^20src^3D^22)psyc.horm.org/barimg/bar_xhtml.png^22^20width^3D^2280^22^20height^3D^2215^22^20alt^3D^22XHTML^20Validator^22^20style^3D^22border^3A^200px^20solid^20black^22^20/^3E])validator.w3.org/check/referer]XHTML^20Validator^26^2361470^3BPsycHo}){kind=small}
That's really cool how you have your childrens best interests at heart. Sounds like you're a great father and their lucky to have you. I'm sure when the right guy comes along you'll know it and your boys will be accepting of him. Hope you have a great week!
My parents told me I was adopted when I was 3 or 4 - I didn't understand what it meant, but I figured it out as I went along. Had they waited until I was older, I would have been devastated - our being gay is not that much different.
Glad to see you blogged something! Was getting worried.
x
Big hugs, Jim...
I HATE it when a movie leaves me frustrated like The Village did and I did so want to see the Wicker Man... damnitall...
I think your kids will be okay but you are wise to wait until it is an "important" relationship. I know you keep up with Scotty from The Other Side of Straight and the shiite he is going through right now is just a crying shame.
1) horray for the wii.
2) YOU'VE taught your children that gay isn't ok by not being able to talk to them about it. No one says that discussing who you are includes saying "I like a man with huge pecs and a tight ass." You're children are mirroring whatever negative signals you're sending them about being gay. They have thier mother saying nasty things about it. Society in general says nasty things about it. And I'm sure some of thier schoolmates say nasty things about it. And you, by being silent have displayed your discomfort with yourself being gay. Treating the subject matter as a taboo topic with children only teaches them that it's a "no no" coversation with you. I know this sounds blunt and possibly hurtful, but I mean this with all due respect "You sound as though you're not OK with your your being gay and now you see it mirrored in your kids." Change your point of view, in order to change your childrens which in turn will change the worlds.
I can understand the issues you have with being gay and having kids. I'm sure it could be difficult. I dont like to make it known with relatives or discuss it either.
I think you are an awesome father from what I have read here and I think they know you are too.
Hope things are well, havent seen ya round lately. Have a great week!
-M
If they do not like him, they won't accept it.
But as they get older, like in their teens, it will be harder on them.
You are putting your children first. It should always be that way.
Don't feel bad, I didn't even know what a Wii was until a few weeks ago. I'm totally not into video games.
The point is - while there's no need to parade every guy with which you have a night, when there is finally someone special, what are you going to do - hide him? With all the complications you describe, I understand it could be tough. But, in the long term, it has to be dealt with. Hopefully, you can find a way that makes "adjustment" easy.
Oh, first, though - find that guy!
And re: Wii. Hope you bubblewrapped all your fragile furniture. ;)
Good luck Hon! :)
It's not like you have to introduce your kids to anyone, but just mentioning you had a date to your kids might help them realize that you're just like any other single guy looking for love. And that's exactly how it is.
As for whether your kids will accept someone, I'd bet that'll be a case-by-case situation and depend on the guy.
But I don't. All I can say is that the unrelenting pressure that's been on your life for such a long time is producing a diamond pure heart in you. Your kids are loved magnificently, and that's the bottom line.
That said, I think that a lot of the way your kids -- or anyone for that matter -- perceive your sexuality and any potential partners will depend a great deal on how you present it and how you feel about it. If you are comfortable and happy, I think that will go a long way toward feeling the same.
As for WICKER MAN, I saw the original and was suitably unimpressed enough to not see the remake. But I did rent LADY IN THE WATER on your recommendation and enjoyed that one.
sorry for all the annon stuff. i am holding my own...barely.
scotty
love ya
dave
Kids who have been through a divorce probably shouldn't be introduced to someone about whom you're not serious because they get attached and then that person's gone, and it's another loss. But if it's a serious relationship, then there's really no harm in them knowing that you're together. They don't have to know (and shouldn't know) the sexual details, just like the children of a heterosexual couple shouldn't know the sexual details of what goes on between their parents.
It's sad to hear that your children are growing up uncomfortable with homosexuality. If the kids of gay parents turn out not to be accepting, why should we hope for better from anyone else? More expansively, if we can't be comfortable with who we are, why should we expect other people to be?
Of course, that is so easy to write. I've not been in those shoes you're wearing.
Sending you a big hug and much hope. Hang in there!
x