Wednesday, January 03, 2007
things always happen so fast...
Way Back Wednesday ... my relationship history
It's been 9 years since I separated/divorced from my ex-wife and essentially came out
I moved to my mothers right after and lived there for about 4 months, started going out and meeting people online (I hadn't been with a guy in any way yet, not even as a teen) until I met my first bf. Oddly we were together for a month before I moved in with him, and it lasted three very tumultuous years. It was my first, I probably wasn't ready for it and unfortunately the relationship suffered from what can best be described as timing. It was pretty intense. I hurt him heaps.

here we are At First Night in Boston 1999/2000 New Years Eve, it's not the best picture of him, he really was (and is still I suppose) a very cute guy. Wish I could put my hands on another picture but alas, at work my resources are limited. In any case I was not completely faithful toward the end, we were fighting a lot. He tried and tried .. but after 3 years living together i fell in love with someone else. It wasn't intentional, I certainly wasn't looking, and it was someone I knew casually through friends. At first I tried to ignore what was happening, he was a bit younger (21) but kept persuing me. I left my first for him in 2000.
If I thought my first was intense, my second was far worse.
we "met" Halloween 2000 and split February 2003
In that time we were never apart for even one night (with a single exception when he had to visit his father for 3 days) and he officially moved in within the first month. We had an incredible bond, and also had heaps in common. I have never been with anyone who I felt so close to as Victor. Perhaps we should have let each other breathe a bit more. The intensity (and excessive drinking) destroyed us in the end. We still can't speak to one another. He hasn't come back for his posessions (it's more than three years now, he basically packed a bag and moved out when we split, part of me thinks he didn't think it would be permanent) and left 10 boxes of stuff.

Here is my 2nd BF the year we split
The saddest part is how close he came to my family and children. (My first bf never got the chance to spend time with them, the separation from my ex-wife was new, there were hostilities, homophobia, she was threatening me should the kids be around "those type" of people (and I fell for it, I was so stupid)). Anyway ... it ended, I still have a place in my heart with his name on it and I know he does as well. We managed to have a couple conversations alone in a bar recently and (as alcohol was involved) got a lot off our chests. It was a positive thing we both needed to do. He seems to be doing very well these days which makes me very happy.
So I've been single since February of 2003. It is the first time I have been alone in my life. I went from parents to wife (at 21), wife back to parents, parents to my first bf (3 years live in), first to 2nd bf (2 1/2 years live in) and then finally single alone me. I had to adapt to a lot of new things, especially cooking and cleaning by myself yikes! You can't exactly call me a homemaker but I think I have learned a great deal living alone. Of course I do have a friend who I am quite close to who I spend time with (completely platonic since day one). He has filled a lot of the void, and I suppose since he is single as well I have filled voids in his own life (and protected him from the money grubbing users he has historically fallen prey to).
So I've dated...
So I have met some interesting people...
I've met a few frogs... I've met one or two "Princes" at least asthetically
I've met a couple people I was attracted to but could not bond with on any other level..
I need it to be the whole package, attraction is not enough
It's been frustrating. I have grown tired of bars and chat rooms.
Then a week ago I met Duke...

scary webcam picture but at least it's something.
It's not very flattering, and doesn't do him justice.
he's a year older than I am, which I love because we grew up in the same era.
Lately I have been on dates with older people who never really get me.
He definitely does..
We spent two hours last Friday walking around the mall, and all day (1-7) New Years Day hanging out watching Videos, talking about music and drinking coffee.
It really looks good so far kids!
We're going to hang out tomorrow night and then go out this weekend.
He is as exited as I am to see one another again. Neither of us can believe we found each other.
Well I should get back to work... I need to get back into posting more regularly since I've been back, it's just that at the moment so much is going on in my life and work I am overwhelmed.
S27 154
Blogger vuboq said...
oh. he looks so sad in the scary webcam picture. maybe you can put a smile on his sad face :-)

good luck!

Blogger daveincleveland said...
dude he looks freekin cute....intense blue glad for you my friend.......every one deserves some hapiness..
love ya an lots of hug

Blogger Doug said...
Hooray for you and Duke! Wishing you all the best with him!

About posting regularly, perhaps you got burned out on it before. Post when you feel like it. Don't feel obligated.


Blogger M- Filer said...
Cute guys; all 3 of them. I am completely opposite. I wouldn't move in or live with a guy until at least a year...just a little selfish I guess. Self consumed?

Blogger Brad said...
Here's a wish that you've finally found THE one.

Blogger Lemuel said...
O, Persian, how my heart sank as I read the first parts of your post! How it soared when I read the ending! You have every good wish from me for things to go well with Duke! May both of you find much happiness together for a very, very long time!

Blogger gayborhood gringo said...
i'm sorry things didn't work out w/ your previous relationships, but things are looking very good so far w/ Duke. good luck and enjoy yourself!

Blogger Kalvin said...
this looks very promising

hopefully it will all turn out well

and i love the way you went over your past relationships...very touching

Blogger steve'swhirlyworld said...
Nice little recap on the guys in your life...and then there was Duke!

Dude...he's hot! Enjoy all of the fun, mushy stuff. Have fun with it, get to know each other...ask tons of questions...make a game out of it.

Good luck buddy.

Blogger Mikey said...
Thanks for the history and the future! Enjoy yourselves!!

I love Dukes eyes. They look very gentle.
Good luck, love. It's your time.

Blogger Ur-spo said...
a fun way to deal with the pain and sorrow is to refer to them as 'the first missue persian' and the 'the second Mrs. persian' etc.

Blogger "W" said...

Congrats sweetie...I hope Duke realizes he's one of the luckiest men alive!

Blogger Jimmi said...
Oh I am very happy for you! :) That is so great, and I would love to see some pictures of the 2 of you together! :) Hope all is well, its been while...

Blogger Polt said...
Victor was a cutie! Congrats on finding duke. I think we need a photo of the two of you together, smiling. :) Best of luck, my man!


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