Thursday, May 24, 2007
saw this last night....
If you haven't seen it (or read the book) you should.
The end may cause you get a little teary eyed, but in a good way :)
This film made me think about a few things.
When it comes to relationships I have a pretty sketchy history, and I always seem to have jumped out when things got tough or was easily distracted by someone/something "better".
People are quick to throw out the "don't settle" advice but perhaps there is a point where we all must settle. Nobody will perfectly fit the mold, and as we develop relationships and time begins to reveal that which may not have initially been obvious, sometimes we run, feeling that anything less than a perfect connection
The sad part is that all too often people learn this lesson too late (or sadly, never at all). I just hope that I do not fit into this category. The older you get the more of a challenge it is to meet new people. I don't go to bars anymore, am hardly ever in chat and blog less frequently than I ever have. The few people I have met of late I grew tired of quickly, because it was obvious even at the start we had no common base to work from. I mean you have to enjoy someone's company and look forward to seeing them right? It isn't the same thing as accepting and working through diversity is it?
I get pretty lonely sometimes, when my family and friends aren't around and there is that empty space. I have been trying to fill it with some of my hobbies, like genealogy, concerts, going to movies etc... but they seem more like a band-aid than any sort of remedy. I don't mean to say that I am unhappy, my life is pretty full for the most part. I have two amazing kids, a wonderful and supportive family, and even a close small group of friends I can call day or night to talk or vent to. It's just that I am beginning to wonder if my singledom is somehow subconsciously self-inflicted.
ok so downer post...
I am at work and sweating profusely. Our AC died here and it will be Wednesday before we get the replacement installed. It is right now 84 outside and 81 in here. I am going to go home and take a cold shower. So glad I turned my AC on in my room for Suede, she would be roasting if I had not.
1 1/2 hours left -- I am sooo glad tomorrow is Friday :)
Blogger Doug said...
I loved Latter Days. I don't want to ruin it for those who haven't seen it, but there's a point in the movie where I was so startled I jumped in my seat. I suppose it was predictable, but when I watch a movie, I kinda turn my predictions off and enjoy the story.

What's the big "2" all about? Also, your codes at the end of your post disappeared. Is that good or bad?

Blogger DanNation said...
So, come to San Francisco for Pride where it is cool and you won't be lonely! :)

Blogger S. said...
I loved that movie. Defintely a tear jerker but a happy one. We have it in our ever growing collection.

As for your thoughts on relationships, go read my posts from the past 2 or 3 days...I CAN relate!!!

BTW< I am back!

Blogger madamerouge said...
I didn't expect to like that movie, but I did.

I am beginning to wonder if my singledom is somehow subconsciously self-inflicted.

- a healthy thought, but I'll counter with this: 'tis better to be alone than to have settled for someone you didn't really love

Blogger potusol said...
I really liked that movie - very sweet.

Hope you're doing well : )

Blogger vuboq said...
An update! YAY! *smooch*

I heard on NPR this morning that is allowing free searches of their military records online through D-Day ... here's the link: (I hope that works)

Blogger Polt said...
Oh Latter Days....made me cry when I saw it in the theater, makes me cry even now every time I watch it! :)

Love ya man!


Blogger Ur-spo said...
yes it is hard to meet people as one ages. Best to keep busy in hobbies and past times that suit you, so you will not waste time anyway
Invariably you stumble over people when you least expect them.

I ask myself the same thing, sometimes.

Latter Days is an excellent film. I have it at home, and have watched it several times.

Blogger daveincleveland said...
excellent film, the ending is filled with so much promise that in life things eventually do work out for the good....

Blogger Jimmi said...
I LOVE that movie!

Blogger Doghigh said...
Re: Latter Days...quite like the movie but really disliked the performance of the guy who played Christian.

Re: the single issue. I do agree that people tend to look for perfection in their mates. But very correctly you point out that no one will ever perfectly fit that mold. So I guess it is about shaking up a lifetime of expectation and storybook promises.

While I do agree that you shouldn't "settle" for anyone just for the sake of someone, I also believe that it's important to see a bigger picture when meeting/dating someone. So they aren't your physical ideal or intellectual equal or what not...look at instead...what do we have in common, is there a base physical attraction, do we share similar goals and ambitions, etc., etc. It's not so much about lowering expectations as it is about allowing a relationship to evolve a little before ruling that it is not going to work.

Probably not making a lot of sense at the moment...very overworked and tired. But I hope it means something :-)

Blogger JR said...
It should have been a tear jerker for me too. Unfortunately I saw it with Kalvin who spent the majority of the time right after telling me what things would or would not really happen as a former Mormon who did his mission.

On the relationship thing. Here is my two cents and they are already published and said and likely cliche, i know... You just gotta find someone who doesn't annoy you and has enough good things to make it worth the work and it is work, lots of constant work.

I thought I wanted a relationship for like a decade and dint. I dismissed some decent guys for tiny unimportant things and then cried I was alone. Like the cliche I gave up and felt OK about being alone and in came Kalvin. He didnt feel like needles and pins on my skin for a few months and that closed the deal. Now he even does feel like needles and pins and regularly, but I like him too much to give up. However to be fair we met at a bar and a sleazy one too and were both intending to be each other's one night stand...