Thursday, March 26, 2009
my date....
I went on a date last night, the guy I was talking about in my last post. We met at a local Tavern, he ate, we talked. It was pretty cool. He's a lot more "gay-worldly" than I am. What I mean to say is that he belongs to a bunch of social groups in the area. I've never joined or attended a Gay social group. Might be interesting. I probably know half the people from when I used to go out years ago.
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I only have one long standing gay friend in my life these days. I kinda always wanted to make more, but could never figure out how. The bar scene is not exactly the place to go to meet friends. Forget online, like I said yesterday, apart from maybe Match.com they are all meat markets populated by sex maniacs and people who aren't quite who they say they are and usually a tad (*cough*) older and less attractive than their photos would lead you to believe.
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So at the very least I've made a new friend. And I suspect I will have dozens more by the time he's done with me. As far as chemistry with this guy I am on the fence. He's goodlooking enough, my age, very well educated ... I am just not sure if I am attracted to him yet. Maybe that will come later, and eh... if it doesn't like I said, he could become a good friend.
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Maybe I am being kinda picky I dunno. I don't think so tho. I really liked the last guy I dated, it's just that he lives in Boston and is really busy. I think we both got tired of the long distance thing. But damn... there was chemistry, almost more than I've experienced in the past.
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Wednesday, March 25, 2009
crazy week...
This has been a hellish week...
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I had a date (sorta) Monday night ...
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I should have known better I guess. Mhunt is not known for producing grounded interesting people who want to get to know you. It's all about getting you into bed. Sad. I was completely disappointed with the experience. Much like I have been disappointed with Match.com and Gay.com of late.
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Supposed to have another "date" this weekend. Eh.. I'm not feeling it from our phone conversation. Then there was that "please unlock" text I got last night out of the blue from the guy. Must have been thinking about me.. lol Not a good sign.
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Oh and the MOST exiting part of my week. The buyer for my Condo (which was set to close this coming Friday) has lost his financing!!! So much for Pre-Approval. The Credit Union backed out after the appraisal. Now he is scurrying around to find a local bank to write him a new loan. He thinks he found one (I won't hold my breath). They are shooting to close a week from Friday now. I haven't slept much the last few nights thinking about this mess.
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My realtor is a nightmare, so that isn't helping either. To get her on the phone is a major production. Yesterday she called me around 3:30 to tell me the buyer's financing fell through. I was at work and very busy, not able to answer my cell. I called her back 10 minutes later, she didn't answer her phone. I tried ALL NIGHT LONG, she didn't answer. All I got was a text from her once that she was in a meeting. I text her back to call me no matter how late. I never heard from her. This happens every time. She communicates through text. NOT acceptable. Like I said, nightmare.
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I need a valium, no wait, a big strong drink.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Friends forever....


My cat and dog have lived together nearly a year now.
They "play" all the time like this. You would think they are killing each other.
She (Suede the cat) waits under the table for him (Kurt the dog) to walk by and pounces.
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I filmed a couple videos of their craziness...
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Wednesday, March 18, 2009
*ready to strangle someone*

This guy from Ebay I was talking about in yesterday's post received the coin I sent him (I have his signature receipt). I get an email soon after which says....

"I think the coin is MS (which means uncirculated) , leave me positive feedback and then I will refund your money"
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I.dont.think.so


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I emailed him back that I have done my part (returning the coin within three days) and that I will not leave feedback UNTIL this is resolved and my refund is issued. He has already mentioned a "restocking fee" of 10% (that is 10% of $799.), which I will not pay, it's not in any part of the listing, especially not in the area he talks about refunds.

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So I initiated a dispute in Paypal... I give him 24 hours and it's going to be escalated.
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*punches the wall twice*
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
last night... a post to vent



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Last night I had to run to the post office to overnight a coin I bought off ebay to this idiot who tried to scam me and who only allowed refunds if returned within three days. I was not going to let him get away with selling me a coin for hundreds more than it was worth because I am sort of a newbie and didn't realize what I was bidding on. So anyway, I was determined to get it out last night (the coin arrived yesterday afternoon). The only post office open in the evening was about a 45 minute drive away in CT. I was really fuming, and I guess I thought getting it in the mail right away would make me feel better. It did kinda.
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On the way home I decided to pull over and grab something to eat at Ruby Tuesdays.
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I wish I hadn't.
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I was up at the salad bar with my friend and I heard a familiar voice call my name behind me.
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It was my first boyfriend, who I have not seen in almost 10 years. He was the first (of two) live in relationships I have had. We talked for a minute, it was awkward as hell, he reached out to hug me and I guess sensed I didn't want to (which wasn't completely the case) and extended his hand. We shook. It was really weird. We talked for a second, I was uncomfortable. I am not sure why, but I was sort of taken back. So we exchanged useless information about each other for a couple minutes and he said his goodbyes and went back to work. I guess he's been a bartender there a while. My friend and I sat down, waited for our food. I was not hungry anymore, all I could do was reminisce for some reason, and it wasn't a pleasant experience.
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So he's been on my mind ever since. I don't understand why, I am no longer in love with him, that ended years ago when I broke it off. Well in actuality I left him for my second live in relationship, they sort of overlapped (yea I'm a rotten person). In my defense I went from my marriage to this guy within three months and was living with him almost instantly. I spent our entire three years wanting to get out, chasing something, even cheating on him (obviously).
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I wasn't ready to settle down so quickly, and our relationship suffered.
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It's really odd, part of me wanted to give him my number so we could talk, hang out, whatever. I then reminded myself how much he drove me crazy. He had this personality I can only liken to a used car salesman. We were never really compatable, he molded himself into what he thought I wanted him to be, and naturally it didn't work.
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Why is it even now, years later I get so upset just seeing him? Why was my gut impulse to try and give him my number so that we could catch up? sigh.....
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I've been told that I have issues letting go. Issues with being rejected even if it is a result of my own behavior/actions. Maybe that's it. Maybe in my own selfish way I want him to love me as much as he did back in the day despite what I have done to him.
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It's no wonder I am still alone. I guess it's a self destructive thing.
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Anyway, I hope he is finally happy. He seemed to be.
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There, I got that off my chest. I kinda feel better somehow.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Kurt...






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He's so freaking cute .... here is a video my friend took tonight.
It is me trying to get Kurt to jump ... I manage to a couple times.
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Saturday, March 14, 2009
My basement
One of the great things about having had 10.5 ' ceilings in my basement was the prospect of finishing it with ceilings still higher than upstairs or a typical ceiling. I had fundage for a project this past January and it was the first thing I jumped on. I wanted it to include an entertainment room / Bar on one side, a hallway and additional bedroom on the other. Here are the pictures I took before I even moved in...










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And here is the final result.
I tried my best to get every angle.
I think it came out well.
(Click on any of them to see a huge full size image)
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This is what you see when you hit the bottom of the stairs....


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then if you turn left you enter the entertainment room....
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I didn't take any of the other side but soon I will
Friday, March 13, 2009
my exiting Friday night...
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I feel so out of touch. I just joined today.
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Yea ok I'm a loser.
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aaaanyway...
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Tonight my friend and I moved the last schtuff I had in my condo here to my new(ish) house. As I posted a couple days ago I finally (after 6 months) got an offer. In this market I feel really lucky, not too much is selling around here. It's so weird, I started this blog just a couple months before I bought that place in '05. It seems so much longer. Of course in the past 3 1/2 years my life has been pretty eventful, some good, some not so good, but at the end of the day I must admit that I've grown as a person from all of the experiences. Getting older may seem like a scary concept (especially in the gay world) but there are benefits to life and living those who are still very young can't appreciate.
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I am noticing lately all sorts of changes in myself. Maturity hits you straight on, even if you are one of those people who tries very hard (at 35) to stay as carefree and reckless as you were at 20 or 25. The truth is you never really are (inside) that carefree and reckless anymore, because you have lived, and experienced, and seen (and learned) so many of the things a 20 year old has yet to experience. His behavior is inadvertently shaped by his inexperience. There really is no way to recapture that naievete, and without it, carefree and reckless don't work without effort. And effort (in this situation) kinda brings the word poser to mind.
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ok that was a little off the cuff. sorry
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SO I started a new hobby a couple weeks ago. My grandfather was in the vending business, he had dozens of vending machines all over the area I live in. Around 1964 when The US removed most of the silver from it's dime, half dollar and dollar coins, my grandfather began hoarding the coins he would come across which predated '64. When he passed away in '97 we had 4 huge bags of these coins to go through. Most of it we sold, but many I kept. I had collected coins as a kid and had some of my old books still. I checked those older coins for low mintage etc and found he had a few rarities. So that brings me to my new hobby. I found (as you would expect since I've just moved) a few things I didn't remember I had. One of these finds was a box of these coins. I had quite a few Morgan Dollars. I decided to try and get one coin of each year and mint. They were made from 1878 to 1905 and then one minting in 1921. It seems like I've been on Ebay way too much of late (and spent perhaps a bit more than I should have). Right now I'm missing three coins to complete 1878-1890. I guess I am becoming sort of a nerd these days. But I'm having some fun so who cares. I need something fun in my dreary lonely life.
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*sigh*
Thursday, March 12, 2009
ugh....


I can't get this stupid fish out of my head...
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Poor Mr. Madoff, why won't those greedy mean people just leave him alone?
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Chasing a 10-15% annual return (consistently) is unrealistic.
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The risk would (in a typical portfolio) be quite high. and.it.was
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Of course I am not a risk taker when it comes to my investments. I stick to the sluggish good old fashioned Bank CD. It may only return 4.5% annually (which I am lucky enough to have locked in a couple years ago), but at least my money is moving in a positive direction. I have also never contributed to my company's 401K program. The company didn't match from the very beginning. So I stayed away, depositing a fixed amount weekly into a money market account. I did have a portfolio with Wachovia for a few years and I took some losses after 911. When the market turned up a while after, I cashed out, investing in Govt Issued IBonds and Bank CDs. Boy am I glad I did. Not being particularly savy in terms of how the market works and long term investments, the fallout after 911 scared me sensible.
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Sensible is good, sensible is safe. Slow and steady.
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I can't fathom writing a check to an organization such as Madoff created.
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Entrusting their entire life savings to him when past retirement age?
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Talk about risk, I don't care who this guy was.
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There.was.risk
(No matter how many words of praise Goldie Shapiro spouted)
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AND they took that risk, small as it may have seemed to them at the time.
They sure didn't expect the angle it hit them from but that is (in my opinion) irrelevant.
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If you are not an FDIC insured bank or The US Treasury, I would not take that risk.
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So I may not make millions overnight, but at the end of the day
I've still got my money, and then some....
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The people I feel sorry for are those affected by Madoff unwillingly. The people who will (in the future) lose, such as those affected by the irresponsible investment strategies of some of these foundations who are now bankrupt. I think there should be a curve in retribution toward these foundations when the day is done and madoff's assets are on the table.
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But that's just me. Slow and steady.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009
i dunno what it is about this guy....
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I fought it as long as I could, but he's got me pretty bad. He reminds me of the latest guy I dated (mentioned in previous post). His face, his voice, his mannerisms ... everything. The show (Burn Notice) isn't so bad either.
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and isn't it funny ... he has the same mother as ...
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Mista Halbert Sparks...

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well not really ... but kinda
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speaking of Hal Sparks... anybody had a listen to his band?
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ZERO1 <---Click here

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Woah Hal is pretty cool these days no?

His band not so much.

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:)

Monday, March 09, 2009
eh...

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YAY Day two!! I'm almost a real blogger again....
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I overslept and got here late. I don't know why I can't sleep at night, ever since I stopped drinking. It's like my body can't fall asleep unless it's a shut down. The result is that I wake up late and exhausted. Maybe I need sleeping pills or something....
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The coffee here at work tastes like sewage. It's not helping.
Sunday, March 08, 2009
Has it really been 4 months?
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Proof I am still alive .. (and that I haven't taken the time to figure out my camera timer)
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Yea well I guess it has been that long. Ya know, life in the condo was so much simpler... (not that I am complaining). I've been in the new house now 6 months, and the challenges never stop coming. I finished the basement a couple of months ago (pictures to come) and have been keeping myself very busy between this place, my growing sons and well, a lot more responsibility.
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I think it's time I got rid of this ancient template. That may be a challenge as I forgot how to code, something that came second nature a couple years ago. I'll put it on the to do list ...
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I went on a date recently, my first in like a year (maybe more). A successfull architect and professor from Boston (about an hour and a half commute). He has a working farm in Warren, which is about 40 minutes away. He's in Africa right now working on some sort of architectural project. Brilliant, very attractive, successful and we mesh well. The only thing I have an issue with (so far) is his tendency not to call for days at a time. He is teaching currently at two different Universities, and has his own design firm. Maybe I am being paranoid....
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So I gave up alcohol for the new year, haven't had anything since December 20th.
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I also bought these two things...





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The stepper for some reason shorts out every other day (oddly enough). The Treadmill is still in a box in my garage, I haven't figured out where I am going to put it yet. I guess I should have thought of that first right? I swear, I am already outgrowing this house!!
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I accepted an offer two weeks ago on my condo. I am pretty exited to be rid of that place, the condo fees and real estate taxes were getting really inconvenient. Not to mention the leaky toilet I didn't realize was slowly staining the ceiling of the unit below me. Things always seem to go wrong when places are vacant ... you would think just the opposite.
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that's a quick catch up on my life, I would tell you now that I'll be back to posting every day but I have done that already (more than once) in the past and sort of didn't follow up.
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later then .... hope everyone is well (if anybody still checks in anyway) I am going to check out some blogs (and friends) I miss now.